Friday, December 26, 2008

R.A Dickey

Ya know what?
Can we for once, maybe sign someone to a contract that has NEVER played for us?
I still like that idea of us finally signing an Asian pitcher.
(that is in my top ten "what the twins better do before I die" list.)
I'm not whining about it, he's an okay guy.


Dear Mr.Smith,

Oh hi there, this is just your average Joe six pack MN twins fan. I speak behalf of all of us when I (we) say "DO WORK SON".
I mean come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, if you don't do something by spring training I might purposely put myself in harms way just to get some excitement around here!
Yes, I know you signed my baseball boyfriend Nick Punto but we need someone to man the hot corner! And get a starter that is older than 18 years old that isn't Livan!
You know what R.A means? RINCON ALTER-EGO. AHHH run for the hills!
(yes alter ego is a two word one word. Mull that one over in your mouth for a bit)
Sign kouzmanoff. He has a cool name, then we can make beer cozies with his face on them and name them kouzies.**

Bahhh hummbug,
Twins Fan.

I was bored and looked at what you crazy people who stumble across my mini slice of webdom google to get to here.

"what does it mean when a man starts drinking and he doesn't know when to quit"
Richmond, VA.


Hmmmm. I think you are an alcoholic. Shot in the dark? Eh? I think I win this round. So you buy this round of drinks, sucka.

"why the Minnesota twins sucks"

Case and point: Juan Rincon. He is gone now, but without him even being on our team or playing against us he still can screw us over. That man sure has talent. To fail.

"MN twins Brendan Harris shirt"

.......................who would want one of those?

"nick punto web gems"

A whole bunch of you googled me and came to this site. Congratulations. You are a Nick Punto fan. I enjoy you, let's date.



"MN sucks"

Uh, blow me? Wait then you would suck. Oh burnnn. I love my 6th grade come-backs.


"boof bonser music"

Yes the rumors are true, there IS a band named boof bonser and no it isnt /boofbonser if you go there is a 50 something year old man from Yemen. Just as creepy as boof himself but could not top the creep hard-core band that is http://www.myspace.com/boofbonsermusic
Oh yes. Soak in the greatness. I would link it but the links aren't working with me at the momento.

Oh yeah, also this made me want to google and find out the meaning behind "boof" and "bonser" since I mean, they are from California and I am just in shock that out of all band names for a hard core band they picked "boof bonser"

I would so have gone with "Pat Neshek" aka death metal. Or R.A Dickey because it just makes you want to smile/giggle and say "....dickey" Then laugh harder thinking of Blyleven saying his name over and over and something along the lines of "so what do you think about Dickey Dick?"

from wiki:
Boof: "to have sexual intercourse" I could of used a more derogatory word but, I'm in that whole it's x-mas time I will tone down on the swear words kinda mood.
Bonser: means nothing, apparently.So I will make one up "to be good then suck very bad at the wrong moment" hopefully the first name and last name don't intersect otherwise that's just a shame.


** I am copyrighting that as we speak, hey Target want me to head the new marketing campaign for the new stadium? ;)

Friday, December 12, 2008

I think baseball needs to come back........

Reaaaaaaaaal soon.
I think I'm already losing it, need proof?:


You mustard heard about Punto.
He's so fast you can't Ketchup to him.
I relish in the thought of him being with the twins for two more years.
Im glad he's going to stick around.

I am now a BONIFIED PUNTO PUP!




I went there. Punto Pup, I can't handle how much of a genius I am.
It hurts sometimes.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I know what you're thinking...

Yeah yeah yeah, it's been quite some time since I've been on here.
Wanna know why?
Exactly who cares YAY I'm back!
WITH MORE SASS.

Anyways.

Lets begin this blog post by saying this:
WTF.
Yep, I am quite irked about this whole everyone wants Nick Punto as their utility player.
I mean, can't some of those *coughs* tough skinned twins fan realize that well, if the yankees, mets, dodgers, and phillies are looking at him MAYBE just MAYBE he might be a good player?

He is the perfect fit for the twins, tell me how we are.
We play hard, we give our all and we are scrappy.
Now tell me how that doesn't scream Nick Punto to you.
I, for one will be heart-broken and will be in a puddle of my own liquid sadness if he plays for someone else.
Yeah, that sounds gross but you get the point, lots of tears.
He's like that annoying kid in school that does really awkward shit, like eats paste or drinks fish bowl water but you come to school one day and he isn't there and it just doesn't feel right!

I KNOW you are shocked, you all were thinking of the same exact thing.
Nick Punto drinks fish bowl water.

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Macy's owns my soul. I sling lotions and makeup to make you feel pretty, and smell of gingery goodness. And no, I don't have any samples.