Tuesday, January 20, 2009

You say you want a Kubeloution....

The Twins today just finished signing a deal with the rubix kubes for signing him for two more years, filling out his remaining years of arbitration. And also giving him a club option for 2011.

I might as well go out and say it, that was a very good idea. I was assuming they would be doing that but the club option is a nice extra incentive. I gotta tell ya I like what direction Kubel is heading in.
He is still a "youngster" ( so stealing a word out of the Blyleven dictionary) and he is just getting better. IF ONLY he can be better in the outfield, even though we don't really need him out there anymore if I had to pick between Kubel and Cuddyer I would pick Kubel. Yes Cuddyer has his big rocket launcher arm but ridden with awkward injuries and his dwindling power makes me feel antsy.
Cuddyer will never leave, kind of like Nick Punto. So we all might as well get used to it. But thankfully we have the amazing awesomeness that is Denard Span. I think I will just start calling him dream weaver.
Next time he walks out on the field, make it slow-mo and play that song in your head. it just FITS.

All you kids have fun at Twins Fest this coming weekend. I shall not be going because of lack of money and lack of anyone interesting to go with haha. I'm sure it will be as fantastic as always. And someone can please tell Boof light beer doesn't mean you won't gain weight. I remember twins unplugged mister....haha.
Come to think of it my good friend RK from Pulling A Blyleven just pointed out how better Boof was before he was (B)oof. The kid needs to gain his weight back. The whole weight distribution is throwing his, well throwing off. I mean I've lost quite a bit weight this past year and when I throw punches they are much more out of control and not on target. So sorry for anyone that I punched in the throat the past 5 months. Which is, about 0 people so hey I don't feel bad!

Bring Boof those bars that chick ate and gained a good amount of weight in mean girls. Oh yeah, and lots of beers. And deep fried deep fry. And a pig roast. And something from Hardee's because that place is a one stop triple bypass. And just jugs of Crisco, the kind you get at Sam's Club!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I know you can agree.

I sit here in the warmth of my house, and I watch the news every day and there is not one thing interesting about off season trades, or even thoughts of doing anything coming from the Twins camp.
And if you think of hearing something about a certain player from a different news paper in a different city who is just a guest blogger on their site is useful...then I GUESS MAYBE in the imaginary twins-might-be-doing-something world, they ARE doing something. But they ARE NOT.

Yes, Carl Pohlad died, rest in peace by the way. I bet nobody thought that could even be some-what of a set back (and I am assuming that it is) It's hard to get back to business when things like that happen.

Okay, there is my sensitive side. Now onto how I REALLY feel.

Uhhhhh, hello? See my last post? Spring training is in 26 days for catchers and pitchers. I'm waiting. Not so patiently anymore.
You thought Bill Smith being the new dude would make the Twins outlook on how they sign people be different? Aka do something? Yeah, right. It's the Twins. I mean, I should get used to this by now. Everyone should too. Yes it would be super duper cool if we could actually sign someone that:
A. Has never played for the Twins
B. Is under the age of 30
C. Doesn't have a broad history of being so accident/injury prone.
sidenote: I still think Pat Neshek got hurt from playing too much Wii and going to death metal concerts.

Speaking of old twins players....lets take a moment and remember some:

Lew Ford.
Lew...oh Lew.
I miss making fun of you, playing D&D and losing 3.5 million balls in the baggy.
And whenever I see this video it reminds me of you:


Jason Tyner.
I mean, who wouldn't miss someone who's middle name is their last name backwards? Renyt. Wow.

Sidney Ponson.
.....actually I don't miss your greasy, sweaty..scary presence on the mound. Heaving and. Oh goodness. NEXT.

Douglas Andrew Mientkiewicz.
My baseball boyfriend forever and always. Don't make me get into how much I do miss you. I still have your jersey somewhere. I'm too sad to wear it. You went to the dark-side and you can't come back from that. Even though you are a free agent and could come back but we have Canadian Bacon now sry.


It's very hard to be writing this when the new clue for the winter carnival medallion came out. Yes I'm one of those people. I just like feeling smart.

Speaking of smart, I have another awesome idea for target for R.A Dickey.




DICKEY DICKEYS! UGH, someone is going to have to knock me down a couple of notches I am inches from being so into myself.
I am ri-dickeylous. HA.
Come on, with the twins logo on the turtle neck, first 5,000 get em.
I would go every home game if I could get myself a free turtleneck dickey.

I didn't tell you?

*sing to the tune of sexy back by justin timberlake*
I'm bringing dickeys baccccck.
(yeah)
Just the arms that what we laaaack.
(yeah)
Who needs a whole shirt when you got whats best
(yeah)
Now turn around and the fronts the same as the back.
(take it to the chorus)

Go ahead boy.
Show me your dickey.
Lets go girls.
Lets wear them dickeys.
Come on child.
Who wears them dickeys?
Bert and Ernie-ahhh.

*dance break*


It hurts to be this good.

Plus hearing Bert say "Dickey Dick" isn't enough. I NOW want him to say "so you got a Dickey Dickey on Dick?"

PS: R.A Dickey, please be good enough to make it to the bullpen. Please.

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Macy's owns my soul. I sling lotions and makeup to make you feel pretty, and smell of gingery goodness. And no, I don't have any samples.