Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Its Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!

Hello world, I know its been a while since I've been on this here Twins blog but Karlee didn't have a computer. But now she does. So here's a list of things I should've talked about while I was away.


- First and foremost, Nick Punto won the World Series. Yes, him and only him.

- I still find Kevin Slowey awkwardly attractive. So...so...so awkwardly attractive.

- I found out I really like Brett Gardner, feel for me.

- Jamey Carroll looks weird, but I'm kind of okay with signing him. Even though he tossed that ring into the lava at Mordor...or whatever.

- AJ Pierzynski is a very awesome person. I want to rally drink with him so hard.

- CJ Wilson is the complete opposite of a hipster, fact. Do hipsters like racing? Fuck no. Are hipsters straight edge? HELL NO, we like drinking box wine, and bitching about how we liked Ryan Gosling when he was in Young Hercules WAY BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. What can I say bowl cuts turn me on.

- Brian Wilson tries too hard, but he makes trying too hard look very very good.

- Terry Ryan is back, remember him? He wasn't all that great but hey I'll choose him over Bill Smith. He got rid of Nick Punto, he'll forever be on my shit list. I yelled out "WHY!" to Bill Smith when I saw him in person and oh boy golly he sure knew what the fuck I meant by that.

- The Twins aren't good at baseball. But Glen Perkins is, he's fucking fabulous at it.

- The Miami Marlins new logo makes me feel confused. Should I like all the pretty colors? Should I hate the fact it looks like something I would've made in MS Paint in 8th grade? Should I too take my talents to South Beach? Should I punch Logan Morrison in the cash and prizes? Do I automatically love this team based on the fact Ozzie Guillen is the skippah?

- Oh, yeah....did I mention Nick Punto has a World Series Ring? Soak that in for a moment.

- Cuddyer should stick to his day job.

- Ben Revere should do stand-up and open up for Kevin Heart. So much shortness. So much cuteness. So much sass.

- I want to go all Black Ops on an XXXXXXXXL Chalupa. Fact.

- WRITTTEENNN IN THE STAAAAAARS, A MILLION MILES AWAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

- I miss baseball.

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Macy's owns my soul. I sling lotions and makeup to make you feel pretty, and smell of gingery goodness. And no, I don't have any samples.