The Twins today just finished signing a deal with the rubix kubes for signing him for two more years, filling out his remaining years of arbitration. And also giving him a club option for 2011.
I might as well go out and say it, that was a very good idea. I was assuming they would be doing that but the club option is a nice extra incentive. I gotta tell ya I like what direction Kubel is heading in.
He is still a "youngster" ( so stealing a word out of the Blyleven dictionary) and he is just getting better. IF ONLY he can be better in the outfield, even though we don't really need him out there anymore if I had to pick between Kubel and Cuddyer I would pick Kubel. Yes Cuddyer has his big rocket launcher arm but ridden with awkward injuries and his dwindling power makes me feel antsy.
Cuddyer will never leave, kind of like Nick Punto. So we all might as well get used to it. But thankfully we have the amazing awesomeness that is Denard Span. I think I will just start calling him dream weaver.
Next time he walks out on the field, make it slow-mo and play that song in your head. it just FITS.
All you kids have fun at Twins Fest this coming weekend. I shall not be going because of lack of money and lack of anyone interesting to go with haha. I'm sure it will be as fantastic as always. And someone can please tell Boof light beer doesn't mean you won't gain weight. I remember twins unplugged mister....haha.
Come to think of it my good friend RK from Pulling A Blyleven just pointed out how better Boof was before he was (B)oof. The kid needs to gain his weight back. The whole weight distribution is throwing his, well throwing off. I mean I've lost quite a bit weight this past year and when I throw punches they are much more out of control and not on target. So sorry for anyone that I punched in the throat the past 5 months. Which is, about 0 people so hey I don't feel bad!
Bring Boof those bars that chick ate and gained a good amount of weight in mean girls. Oh yeah, and lots of beers. And deep fried deep fry. And a pig roast. And something from Hardee's because that place is a one stop triple bypass. And just jugs of Crisco, the kind you get at Sam's Club!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I know you can agree.
I sit here in the warmth of my house, and I watch the news every day and there is not one thing interesting about off season trades, or even thoughts of doing anything coming from the Twins camp.
And if you think of hearing something about a certain player from a different news paper in a different city who is just a guest blogger on their site is useful...then I GUESS MAYBE in the imaginary twins-might-be-doing-something world, they ARE doing something. But they ARE NOT.
Yes, Carl Pohlad died, rest in peace by the way. I bet nobody thought that could even be some-what of a set back (and I am assuming that it is) It's hard to get back to business when things like that happen.
Okay, there is my sensitive side. Now onto how I REALLY feel.
Uhhhhh, hello? See my last post? Spring training is in 26 days for catchers and pitchers. I'm waiting. Not so patiently anymore.
You thought Bill Smith being the new dude would make the Twins outlook on how they sign people be different? Aka do something? Yeah, right. It's the Twins. I mean, I should get used to this by now. Everyone should too. Yes it would be super duper cool if we could actually sign someone that:
A. Has never played for the Twins
B. Is under the age of 30
C. Doesn't have a broad history of being so accident/injury prone.
sidenote: I still think Pat Neshek got hurt from playing too much Wii and going to death metal concerts.
Speaking of old twins players....lets take a moment and remember some:
Lew Ford.
Lew...oh Lew.
I miss making fun of you, playing D&D and losing 3.5 million balls in the baggy.
And whenever I see this video it reminds me of you:
Jason Tyner.
I mean, who wouldn't miss someone who's middle name is their last name backwards? Renyt. Wow.
Sidney Ponson.
.....actually I don't miss your greasy, sweaty..scary presence on the mound. Heaving and. Oh goodness. NEXT.
Douglas Andrew Mientkiewicz.
My baseball boyfriend forever and always. Don't make me get into how much I do miss you. I still have your jersey somewhere. I'm too sad to wear it. You went to the dark-side and you can't come back from that. Even though you are a free agent and could come back but we have Canadian Bacon now sry.
It's very hard to be writing this when the new clue for the winter carnival medallion came out. Yes I'm one of those people. I just like feeling smart.
Speaking of smart, I have another awesome idea for target for R.A Dickey.
DICKEY DICKEYS! UGH, someone is going to have to knock me down a couple of notches I am inches from being so into myself.
I am ri-dickeylous. HA.
Come on, with the twins logo on the turtle neck, first 5,000 get em.
I would go every home game if I could get myself a free turtleneck dickey.
I didn't tell you?
*sing to the tune of sexy back by justin timberlake*
I'm bringing dickeys baccccck.
(yeah)
Just the arms that what we laaaack.
(yeah)
Who needs a whole shirt when you got whats best
(yeah)
Now turn around and the fronts the same as the back.
(take it to the chorus)
Go ahead boy.
Show me your dickey.
Lets go girls.
Lets wear them dickeys.
Come on child.
Who wears them dickeys?
Bert and Ernie-ahhh.
*dance break*
It hurts to be this good.
Plus hearing Bert say "Dickey Dick" isn't enough. I NOW want him to say "so you got a Dickey Dickey on Dick?"
PS: R.A Dickey, please be good enough to make it to the bullpen. Please.
And if you think of hearing something about a certain player from a different news paper in a different city who is just a guest blogger on their site is useful...then I GUESS MAYBE in the imaginary twins-might-be-doing-something world, they ARE doing something. But they ARE NOT.
Yes, Carl Pohlad died, rest in peace by the way. I bet nobody thought that could even be some-what of a set back (and I am assuming that it is) It's hard to get back to business when things like that happen.
Okay, there is my sensitive side. Now onto how I REALLY feel.
Uhhhhh, hello? See my last post? Spring training is in 26 days for catchers and pitchers. I'm waiting. Not so patiently anymore.
You thought Bill Smith being the new dude would make the Twins outlook on how they sign people be different? Aka do something? Yeah, right. It's the Twins. I mean, I should get used to this by now. Everyone should too. Yes it would be super duper cool if we could actually sign someone that:
A. Has never played for the Twins
B. Is under the age of 30
C. Doesn't have a broad history of being so accident/injury prone.
sidenote: I still think Pat Neshek got hurt from playing too much Wii and going to death metal concerts.
Speaking of old twins players....lets take a moment and remember some:
Lew Ford.
Lew...oh Lew.
I miss making fun of you, playing D&D and losing 3.5 million balls in the baggy.
And whenever I see this video it reminds me of you:
Jason Tyner.
I mean, who wouldn't miss someone who's middle name is their last name backwards? Renyt. Wow.
Sidney Ponson.
.....actually I don't miss your greasy, sweaty..scary presence on the mound. Heaving and. Oh goodness. NEXT.
Douglas Andrew Mientkiewicz.
My baseball boyfriend forever and always. Don't make me get into how much I do miss you. I still have your jersey somewhere. I'm too sad to wear it. You went to the dark-side and you can't come back from that. Even though you are a free agent and could come back but we have Canadian Bacon now sry.
It's very hard to be writing this when the new clue for the winter carnival medallion came out. Yes I'm one of those people. I just like feeling smart.
Speaking of smart, I have another awesome idea for target for R.A Dickey.
DICKEY DICKEYS! UGH, someone is going to have to knock me down a couple of notches I am inches from being so into myself.
I am ri-dickeylous. HA.
Come on, with the twins logo on the turtle neck, first 5,000 get em.
I would go every home game if I could get myself a free turtleneck dickey.
I didn't tell you?
*sing to the tune of sexy back by justin timberlake*
I'm bringing dickeys baccccck.
(yeah)
Just the arms that what we laaaack.
(yeah)
Who needs a whole shirt when you got whats best
(yeah)
Now turn around and the fronts the same as the back.
(take it to the chorus)
Go ahead boy.
Show me your dickey.
Lets go girls.
Lets wear them dickeys.
Come on child.
Who wears them dickeys?
Bert and Ernie-ahhh.
*dance break*
It hurts to be this good.
Plus hearing Bert say "Dickey Dick" isn't enough. I NOW want him to say "so you got a Dickey Dickey on Dick?"
PS: R.A Dickey, please be good enough to make it to the bullpen. Please.
Friday, December 26, 2008
R.A Dickey
Ya know what?
Can we for once, maybe sign someone to a contract that has NEVER played for us?
I still like that idea of us finally signing an Asian pitcher.
(that is in my top ten "what the twins better do before I die" list.)
I'm not whining about it, he's an okay guy.
Dear Mr.Smith,
Oh hi there, this is just your average Joe six pack MN twins fan. I speak behalf of all of us when I (we) say "DO WORK SON".
I mean come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, if you don't do something by spring training I might purposely put myself in harms way just to get some excitement around here!
Yes, I know you signed my baseball boyfriend Nick Punto but we need someone to man the hot corner! And get a starter that is older than 18 years old that isn't Livan!
You know what R.A means? RINCON ALTER-EGO. AHHH run for the hills!
(yes alter ego is a two word one word. Mull that one over in your mouth for a bit)
Sign kouzmanoff. He has a cool name, then we can make beer cozies with his face on them and name them kouzies.**
Bahhh hummbug,
Twins Fan.
I was bored and looked at what you crazy people who stumble across my mini slice of webdom google to get to here.
"what does it mean when a man starts drinking and he doesn't know when to quit"
Richmond, VA.
Hmmmm. I think you are an alcoholic. Shot in the dark? Eh? I think I win this round. So you buy this round of drinks, sucka.
"why the Minnesota twins sucks"
Case and point: Juan Rincon. He is gone now, but without him even being on our team or playing against us he still can screw us over. That man sure has talent. To fail.
"MN twins Brendan Harris shirt"
.......................who would want one of those?
"nick punto web gems"
A whole bunch of you googled me and came to this site. Congratulations. You are a Nick Punto fan. I enjoy you, let's date.
"MN sucks"
Uh, blow me? Wait then you would suck. Oh burnnn. I love my 6th grade come-backs.
"boof bonser music"
Yes the rumors are true, there IS a band named boof bonser and no it isnt /boofbonser if you go there is a 50 something year old man from Yemen. Just as creepy as boof himself but could not top the creep hard-core band that is http://www.myspace.com/boofbonsermusic
Oh yes. Soak in the greatness. I would link it but the links aren't working with me at the momento.
Oh yeah, also this made me want to google and find out the meaning behind "boof" and "bonser" since I mean, they are from California and I am just in shock that out of all band names for a hard core band they picked "boof bonser"
I would so have gone with "Pat Neshek" aka death metal. Or R.A Dickey because it just makes you want to smile/giggle and say "....dickey" Then laugh harder thinking of Blyleven saying his name over and over and something along the lines of "so what do you think about Dickey Dick?"
from wiki:
Boof: "to have sexual intercourse" I could of used a more derogatory word but, I'm in that whole it's x-mas time I will tone down on the swear words kinda mood.
Bonser: means nothing, apparently.So I will make one up "to be good then suck very bad at the wrong moment" hopefully the first name and last name don't intersect otherwise that's just a shame.
** I am copyrighting that as we speak, hey Target want me to head the new marketing campaign for the new stadium? ;)
Can we for once, maybe sign someone to a contract that has NEVER played for us?
I still like that idea of us finally signing an Asian pitcher.
(that is in my top ten "what the twins better do before I die" list.)
I'm not whining about it, he's an okay guy.
Dear Mr.Smith,
Oh hi there, this is just your average Joe six pack MN twins fan. I speak behalf of all of us when I (we) say "DO WORK SON".
I mean come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, if you don't do something by spring training I might purposely put myself in harms way just to get some excitement around here!
Yes, I know you signed my baseball boyfriend Nick Punto but we need someone to man the hot corner! And get a starter that is older than 18 years old that isn't Livan!
You know what R.A means? RINCON ALTER-EGO. AHHH run for the hills!
(yes alter ego is a two word one word. Mull that one over in your mouth for a bit)
Sign kouzmanoff. He has a cool name, then we can make beer cozies with his face on them and name them kouzies.**
Bahhh hummbug,
Twins Fan.
I was bored and looked at what you crazy people who stumble across my mini slice of webdom google to get to here.
"what does it mean when a man starts drinking and he doesn't know when to quit"
Richmond, VA.
Hmmmm. I think you are an alcoholic. Shot in the dark? Eh? I think I win this round. So you buy this round of drinks, sucka.
"why the Minnesota twins sucks"
Case and point: Juan Rincon. He is gone now, but without him even being on our team or playing against us he still can screw us over. That man sure has talent. To fail.
"MN twins Brendan Harris shirt"
.......................who would want one of those?
"nick punto web gems"
A whole bunch of you googled me and came to this site. Congratulations. You are a Nick Punto fan. I enjoy you, let's date.
"MN sucks"
Uh, blow me? Wait then you would suck. Oh burnnn. I love my 6th grade come-backs.
"boof bonser music"
Yes the rumors are true, there IS a band named boof bonser and no it isnt /boofbonser if you go there is a 50 something year old man from Yemen. Just as creepy as boof himself but could not top the creep hard-core band that is http://www.myspace.com/boofbonsermusic
Oh yes. Soak in the greatness. I would link it but the links aren't working with me at the momento.
Oh yeah, also this made me want to google and find out the meaning behind "boof" and "bonser" since I mean, they are from California and I am just in shock that out of all band names for a hard core band they picked "boof bonser"
I would so have gone with "Pat Neshek" aka death metal. Or R.A Dickey because it just makes you want to smile/giggle and say "....dickey" Then laugh harder thinking of Blyleven saying his name over and over and something along the lines of "so what do you think about Dickey Dick?"
from wiki:
Boof: "to have sexual intercourse" I could of used a more derogatory word but, I'm in that whole it's x-mas time I will tone down on the swear words kinda mood.
Bonser: means nothing, apparently.So I will make one up "to be good then suck very bad at the wrong moment" hopefully the first name and last name don't intersect otherwise that's just a shame.
** I am copyrighting that as we speak, hey Target want me to head the new marketing campaign for the new stadium? ;)
Friday, December 12, 2008
I think baseball needs to come back........
Reaaaaaaaaal soon.
I think I'm already losing it, need proof?:
You mustard heard about Punto.
He's so fast you can't Ketchup to him.
I relish in the thought of him being with the twins for two more years.
Im glad he's going to stick around.
I am now a BONIFIED PUNTO PUP!
I went there. Punto Pup, I can't handle how much of a genius I am.
It hurts sometimes.
I think I'm already losing it, need proof?:
You mustard heard about Punto.
He's so fast you can't Ketchup to him.
I relish in the thought of him being with the twins for two more years.
Im glad he's going to stick around.
I am now a BONIFIED PUNTO PUP!
I went there. Punto Pup, I can't handle how much of a genius I am.
It hurts sometimes.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I know what you're thinking...
Yeah yeah yeah, it's been quite some time since I've been on here.
Wanna know why?
Exactly who cares YAY I'm back!
WITH MORE SASS.
Anyways.
Lets begin this blog post by saying this:
WTF.
Yep, I am quite irked about this whole everyone wants Nick Punto as their utility player.
I mean, can't some of those *coughs* tough skinned twins fan realize that well, if the yankees, mets, dodgers, and phillies are looking at him MAYBE just MAYBE he might be a good player?
He is the perfect fit for the twins, tell me how we are.
We play hard, we give our all and we are scrappy.
Now tell me how that doesn't scream Nick Punto to you.
I, for one will be heart-broken and will be in a puddle of my own liquid sadness if he plays for someone else.
Yeah, that sounds gross but you get the point, lots of tears.
He's like that annoying kid in school that does really awkward shit, like eats paste or drinks fish bowl water but you come to school one day and he isn't there and it just doesn't feel right!
I KNOW you are shocked, you all were thinking of the same exact thing.
Nick Punto drinks fish bowl water.
Wanna know why?
Exactly who cares YAY I'm back!
WITH MORE SASS.
Anyways.
Lets begin this blog post by saying this:
WTF.
Yep, I am quite irked about this whole everyone wants Nick Punto as their utility player.
I mean, can't some of those *coughs* tough skinned twins fan realize that well, if the yankees, mets, dodgers, and phillies are looking at him MAYBE just MAYBE he might be a good player?
He is the perfect fit for the twins, tell me how we are.
We play hard, we give our all and we are scrappy.
Now tell me how that doesn't scream Nick Punto to you.
I, for one will be heart-broken and will be in a puddle of my own liquid sadness if he plays for someone else.
Yeah, that sounds gross but you get the point, lots of tears.
He's like that annoying kid in school that does really awkward shit, like eats paste or drinks fish bowl water but you come to school one day and he isn't there and it just doesn't feel right!
I KNOW you are shocked, you all were thinking of the same exact thing.
Nick Punto drinks fish bowl water.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
America's past time
I know I haven't been on here for what seems like forever.
But I've been pretty busy going to the games, and being busy off my ass.
(and on occasion guest blogging on pulling a blyleven.)
I must say this year has been a surprise, so many break out stars. So many highs and heart breaking loses.
Now it all comes down to one game.
It's the mini world series, as I call it. Yeah it's catchy and I'm copyrighting it so back off.
Two teams.
And when it comes down to numbers, it's almost a mirror image.
They lead in HRs.
But we lead in RISP and two out RISP.
The white sox are telling their minnions that they must wear all black.
Did they hear what happend when a certain football team did that?
Guess not.
I won't lie, I am super nervous but I ate Jimmy Johns and mac and cheese and a slushee today. That means morneau will get two more rbis so he can be #1 in rbis.
He already RBI'ed my heart *pitter patter*
Okay I addmit that was pretty hallmarky.
I sit here now, eating ginger chicken and I think "wow this is good." and then I think "If the twins can be as good as this, they can win." then I realize I'm slowly making myself go insane because of all the stress pushing on me. I am talking to myself.
I would really like for us to win, not only because we'd win the division but we'd clinch it IN chicago, Blackburn would be the winning pitcher. And Ozzie Guillen would probably spontaniously combust. Instant replay that. Delivery of the game THIS!
I will post soon after the game, lets hope I am a happy panda, not a sad one.
ps: FUCK NICK SWISHER.
But I've been pretty busy going to the games, and being busy off my ass.
(and on occasion guest blogging on pulling a blyleven.)
I must say this year has been a surprise, so many break out stars. So many highs and heart breaking loses.
Now it all comes down to one game.
It's the mini world series, as I call it. Yeah it's catchy and I'm copyrighting it so back off.
Two teams.
And when it comes down to numbers, it's almost a mirror image.
They lead in HRs.
But we lead in RISP and two out RISP.
The white sox are telling their minnions that they must wear all black.
Did they hear what happend when a certain football team did that?
Guess not.
I won't lie, I am super nervous but I ate Jimmy Johns and mac and cheese and a slushee today. That means morneau will get two more rbis so he can be #1 in rbis.
He already RBI'ed my heart *pitter patter*
Okay I addmit that was pretty hallmarky.
I sit here now, eating ginger chicken and I think "wow this is good." and then I think "If the twins can be as good as this, they can win." then I realize I'm slowly making myself go insane because of all the stress pushing on me. I am talking to myself.
I would really like for us to win, not only because we'd win the division but we'd clinch it IN chicago, Blackburn would be the winning pitcher. And Ozzie Guillen would probably spontaniously combust. Instant replay that. Delivery of the game THIS!
I will post soon after the game, lets hope I am a happy panda, not a sad one.
ps: FUCK NICK SWISHER.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Remember the Minnesota Moose?
You Don't?
Good.
Moose...or Mooseys (more than one moose who sucks at grammar) in Minnesota= bad news.
I kind of thought we had a chance to win tonight.
Adam Everett has now used up all his greatness the past couple of days, I'll be gosh darn sure of it if he starts sucking a big one.
Oh no, believe me I'm the type thats more, optimistic than pessimistic.
Only if involves me not making fun of someone.
If I'm able to make fun of something, I'm ALWAYS negative.
I always make fun of something or someone.
So I hate you all.
Oh. Speaking of sucking.
Twins Bullpen.
I remember last year I'm all "we got this bullpen locked up all we need is a good dh and a third basemen and we're good to go!"
Then our whole team left.
Then Pat Neshek show boated.
Then he got hurt.
Then all a sudden, we just imploded.
Cuddyer got hurt.
Punto got hurt.
Everett got hurt.
Then everyone got hurt.
Then the bullpen got used way too much and now they cannot come back from wii elbow.
I mean...pitching too much.
I saw the always annoying ball boy take one right in the hoodinks.
I got hurt, yes..I got hurt.
Right *points to heart* here.
You know when you write down lets say, a long letter to a loved one with a pencil?
(this might only apply for left handers, since everything is made for you right handed nazi monkeys)
And you get all that lead on the side of your hand?
Thats (B)Oof.
Everything is going fine, you made mistakes but you erase them and like, draw a cute heart with the lace around it with the innitials JM&JM=...J&JM?*
You smile at your work. And then you fold the paper and...
SHIT IM SO MAD, I have this nasty mark on my hand and it wont go away.
OH NO I folded the paper with my hand! MY NOTE IS MESSY.
The Paper= The Game
What u wrote on the paper= The good innings you pitched
The nasty mark on your hand and now on your paper= Boof sucking.
Boof, I'm breaking up with you.
I'd send my homing pidgeon with a note attached that said "Im leaving your heart in the bullpen. You are no longer my starter. PS:Light beer still makes you fat"
*JM+JM = JJM = Joe Mauer + Justin Morneau= Justin & Joe Mauerneau
Good.
Moose...or Mooseys (more than one moose who sucks at grammar) in Minnesota= bad news.
I kind of thought we had a chance to win tonight.
Adam Everett has now used up all his greatness the past couple of days, I'll be gosh darn sure of it if he starts sucking a big one.
Oh no, believe me I'm the type thats more, optimistic than pessimistic.
Only if involves me not making fun of someone.
If I'm able to make fun of something, I'm ALWAYS negative.
I always make fun of something or someone.
So I hate you all.
Oh. Speaking of sucking.
Twins Bullpen.
I remember last year I'm all "we got this bullpen locked up all we need is a good dh and a third basemen and we're good to go!"
Then our whole team left.
Then Pat Neshek show boated.
Then he got hurt.
Then all a sudden, we just imploded.
Cuddyer got hurt.
Punto got hurt.
Everett got hurt.
Then everyone got hurt.
Then the bullpen got used way too much and now they cannot come back from wii elbow.
I mean...pitching too much.
I saw the always annoying ball boy take one right in the hoodinks.
I got hurt, yes..I got hurt.
Right *points to heart* here.
You know when you write down lets say, a long letter to a loved one with a pencil?
(this might only apply for left handers, since everything is made for you right handed nazi monkeys)
And you get all that lead on the side of your hand?
Thats (B)Oof.
Everything is going fine, you made mistakes but you erase them and like, draw a cute heart with the lace around it with the innitials JM&JM=...J&JM?*
You smile at your work. And then you fold the paper and...
SHIT IM SO MAD, I have this nasty mark on my hand and it wont go away.
OH NO I folded the paper with my hand! MY NOTE IS MESSY.
The Paper= The Game
What u wrote on the paper= The good innings you pitched
The nasty mark on your hand and now on your paper= Boof sucking.
Boof, I'm breaking up with you.
I'd send my homing pidgeon with a note attached that said "Im leaving your heart in the bullpen. You are no longer my starter. PS:Light beer still makes you fat"
*JM+JM = JJM = Joe Mauer + Justin Morneau= Justin & Joe Mauerneau
Friday, August 8, 2008
Yes, I'm alive.
I tend to disappear out of sight sometimes.
Run down of the past 5445844 days I've missed I will post you 50 thoughts:
1. Nick Swisher sucks super bad at first base. You made me laugh hard, and I burned calories on you account. Thank you for making me less fat.
2. Nick Swisher loses his gloves because he likes boys.
3. Nick Punto is great.
4. Carlos Gomez needs to step it up or get outtaaa herrrre.
5. I don't know about my feelings for cuddyer coming back. No serious. I don't know stop nagging me.
6. Our Bullpen sucks a big huge one on the road, and its starting to piss me straight off.
7. Why is Adam Everett still playing?
8. I don't give two fucks about Brett Farve, this is a damn BASEBALL BLOG! :)
9. But hes kinda cute for an old guy.
10. AJ Pierzynski even gets punched in the face when he isn't even IN the fight.. that how much people hate him.
11. Joe Nathan has been making me nervous lately. And ya know what that should NOT HAPPEN...example tonights game. He hits a hitter. Then gives up two singles now bases are loaded with 2 out. Bottom of the 9th. Joe Nathan do not make me wanna cut a bitch.
12.Thank you.....we win. ANYWAYS.
13. I miss Juan Rincon.......HAH KIDDING.
14. I have a huge new hatred for "ibanez" why hes in " " 's? I don't know. But he's what we call a "douche bag"
15. On a scale to one the ten, who would win in a running race? Carlos Gomez or a great horned owl. I know the owl can fly, as can gomez.
16.I miss guardado. And I miss dougy baseball. He so could of learned how to play third base. Admit it he'd be better at third than Lamb or Harris. Buscher eeeeeeh i dunno.
17. I like ta do tha cha-cha.
18. I really hope the last games this year won't give me an aneurysm. It seems like the twins and fux have raced ahead out of the gate. Detroit has no chance anymore.
19. I really wish we got someone before the deadline. How about we pick someone up off of waivers? Oh crap I forgot it's the MN Twins I'm talking about.
20. You getting bored yet? Just think of Nick Swisher wearing a panda costume. Then think of you holding a bat. Yeah see I got you interested again.
21. I think Mike Pomeranz is sexually attractive.
22. Sorry did I creep you out? He used to play in the twins farm system, thats why I brought him up, yep.
23. You know who else did? .....I don't know I'm asking YOU.
24. every time I go to a twins game, I end up getting into a stare down with a kid. And why do they always win? I should creep them out enough to turn around and watch the game. But no. They stare at me. It's creepy. Maybe they want my lucky charms who knows.
25. New Kids On The Block played at M.O.A today.......what?
26. Packers new quarterback has big eyeballs.
27. Oh when we're in the world series, I'll be having viewing parties at my house. Oh you think I'm being super crazy thinking we'll be in the world series? We will. And it will be again the Cubs. Ron Coomer will burst into a butterfly since his very puffy body was it's cocoon.
28. I love Stephen Colbert. I wish he was my creepy next door neighboor. Read his section in his book about sports it will change your life.
29. I love the person who picks the music at the dome. Whoever plays the ting tings and vampire weekend is good in my book. I think they should play the Jonas Brothers. I mean the Doobie Brothers...wait I mean..The Allman Brothers...I mean The jackson 5...or...the osmonds.
30. I'm a little bit country.... I'm a little bit, ....let's make out sis.
31. BACK TO BASEBALL! So whats the deal with Manny? I never saw him as a east coast guy. He can sock puppet* it up with Torii Hunter. (*hand puppets made of socks, who are more than likely very annoying and they blab about nonsense)
32. Ozzie Guillen is also a sock puppet.
33. I will be selling Ozzie Guillen sock puppets soon.
34. My mom says whenever she hears the name Guillen, which is too much since there is a guillen on almost every team, I swear. She says it reminds her of Ed Gein. And in which it reminds her of Skin Stretched Lamps. I capitalized all of that because I think that would be a dandy little band name.
35. The Skin Stretched Lamps and Pippy...with the new single "it puts the lotion on the skin"
36. So anyone hear about Johan Santana? No? Shock.
37. Delmon Youngs new nick name: dark knight.
38. On my x-mas list: the twins to get an azn to play for us next year.
39. So I hear Casilla is healing nicely and he might be able to play in two weeks? Thats epic.
40. I'll admit it. I'm happy that Barlett and Garza are on a good team. But uh, they got the better side of the trade I concur.
41. I love it when 70 year old men wear bright blue shirts with pink red and yellow stripes. It makes my day brighter. Because WOW it was a bright shirt let me tell you.
42. As you can tell I'm kind of loosing steam here. Let me chew on a starburst to get some of my creative juices flowing.....
43. Jesse Crain sucks....WOW see the starbust worked!
44. I think Brendan Harris' next walk on song should be Burnin' Up by the Jonas Brothers. If you don't know the song, listen to it. It would be great. Oh and Mike Lambs should be "loser" by Beck.
45. Now I'm disgruntled. The starburst is stuck in my teeth *mini panic attack*
46. Oh my friend Joe says that the MN TWINS probably sit in the club house eating candy watching little big league waiting for milk and cookies from Gardy. Scary thing is I think he might be right.
47. ......white chocolate macadamia cookies. Straight up. Dammit Christy.
48. I'm going to the yankees twins game. Anyone else going? I'll be holding my "Circle Me Bert my mom thinks your hot" sign.
49. Oh yeah speaking of Bert. He eats crickets, and enjoys it.. I think he'd eat anything. I think someone should test this out, every week it's a different package dried animal that either tastes like bacon and cheese, sour cream and chive or vinegar.
50. ITS MY CATS BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALLY ON YOUR 15 YEARS OF MEOWZERIFICNESS!
Run down of the past 5445844 days I've missed I will post you 50 thoughts:
1. Nick Swisher sucks super bad at first base. You made me laugh hard, and I burned calories on you account. Thank you for making me less fat.
2. Nick Swisher loses his gloves because he likes boys.
3. Nick Punto is great.
4. Carlos Gomez needs to step it up or get outtaaa herrrre.
5. I don't know about my feelings for cuddyer coming back. No serious. I don't know stop nagging me.
6. Our Bullpen sucks a big huge one on the road, and its starting to piss me straight off.
7. Why is Adam Everett still playing?
8. I don't give two fucks about Brett Farve, this is a damn BASEBALL BLOG! :)
9. But hes kinda cute for an old guy.
10. AJ Pierzynski even gets punched in the face when he isn't even IN the fight.. that how much people hate him.
11. Joe Nathan has been making me nervous lately. And ya know what that should NOT HAPPEN...example tonights game. He hits a hitter. Then gives up two singles now bases are loaded with 2 out. Bottom of the 9th. Joe Nathan do not make me wanna cut a bitch.
12.Thank you.....we win. ANYWAYS.
13. I miss Juan Rincon.......HAH KIDDING.
14. I have a huge new hatred for "ibanez" why hes in " " 's? I don't know. But he's what we call a "douche bag"
15. On a scale to one the ten, who would win in a running race? Carlos Gomez or a great horned owl. I know the owl can fly, as can gomez.
16.I miss guardado. And I miss dougy baseball. He so could of learned how to play third base. Admit it he'd be better at third than Lamb or Harris. Buscher eeeeeeh i dunno.
17. I like ta do tha cha-cha.
18. I really hope the last games this year won't give me an aneurysm. It seems like the twins and fux have raced ahead out of the gate. Detroit has no chance anymore.
19. I really wish we got someone before the deadline. How about we pick someone up off of waivers? Oh crap I forgot it's the MN Twins I'm talking about.
20. You getting bored yet? Just think of Nick Swisher wearing a panda costume. Then think of you holding a bat. Yeah see I got you interested again.
21. I think Mike Pomeranz is sexually attractive.
22. Sorry did I creep you out? He used to play in the twins farm system, thats why I brought him up, yep.
23. You know who else did? .....I don't know I'm asking YOU.
24. every time I go to a twins game, I end up getting into a stare down with a kid. And why do they always win? I should creep them out enough to turn around and watch the game. But no. They stare at me. It's creepy. Maybe they want my lucky charms who knows.
25. New Kids On The Block played at M.O.A today.......what?
26. Packers new quarterback has big eyeballs.
27. Oh when we're in the world series, I'll be having viewing parties at my house. Oh you think I'm being super crazy thinking we'll be in the world series? We will. And it will be again the Cubs. Ron Coomer will burst into a butterfly since his very puffy body was it's cocoon.
28. I love Stephen Colbert. I wish he was my creepy next door neighboor. Read his section in his book about sports it will change your life.
29. I love the person who picks the music at the dome. Whoever plays the ting tings and vampire weekend is good in my book. I think they should play the Jonas Brothers. I mean the Doobie Brothers...wait I mean..The Allman Brothers...I mean The jackson 5...or...the osmonds.
30. I'm a little bit country.... I'm a little bit, ....let's make out sis.
31. BACK TO BASEBALL! So whats the deal with Manny? I never saw him as a east coast guy. He can sock puppet* it up with Torii Hunter. (*hand puppets made of socks, who are more than likely very annoying and they blab about nonsense)
32. Ozzie Guillen is also a sock puppet.
33. I will be selling Ozzie Guillen sock puppets soon.
34. My mom says whenever she hears the name Guillen, which is too much since there is a guillen on almost every team, I swear. She says it reminds her of Ed Gein. And in which it reminds her of Skin Stretched Lamps. I capitalized all of that because I think that would be a dandy little band name.
35. The Skin Stretched Lamps and Pippy...with the new single "it puts the lotion on the skin"
36. So anyone hear about Johan Santana? No? Shock.
37. Delmon Youngs new nick name: dark knight.
38. On my x-mas list: the twins to get an azn to play for us next year.
39. So I hear Casilla is healing nicely and he might be able to play in two weeks? Thats epic.
40. I'll admit it. I'm happy that Barlett and Garza are on a good team. But uh, they got the better side of the trade I concur.
41. I love it when 70 year old men wear bright blue shirts with pink red and yellow stripes. It makes my day brighter. Because WOW it was a bright shirt let me tell you.
42. As you can tell I'm kind of loosing steam here. Let me chew on a starburst to get some of my creative juices flowing.....
43. Jesse Crain sucks....WOW see the starbust worked!
44. I think Brendan Harris' next walk on song should be Burnin' Up by the Jonas Brothers. If you don't know the song, listen to it. It would be great. Oh and Mike Lambs should be "loser" by Beck.
45. Now I'm disgruntled. The starburst is stuck in my teeth *mini panic attack*
46. Oh my friend Joe says that the MN TWINS probably sit in the club house eating candy watching little big league waiting for milk and cookies from Gardy. Scary thing is I think he might be right.
47. ......white chocolate macadamia cookies. Straight up. Dammit Christy.
48. I'm going to the yankees twins game. Anyone else going? I'll be holding my "Circle Me Bert my mom thinks your hot" sign.
49. Oh yeah speaking of Bert. He eats crickets, and enjoys it.. I think he'd eat anything. I think someone should test this out, every week it's a different package dried animal that either tastes like bacon and cheese, sour cream and chive or vinegar.
50. ITS MY CATS BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALLY ON YOUR 15 YEARS OF MEOWZERIFICNESS!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Come from behind wins
I think the MN Twins need to start wearing shirts that say "we like it from behind"
Because,
1: It's true.
2: It sounds kinda kinky.
3: It would look good on a blue shirt and big white Tahoma, Verdana or maybe Webdings if you wanna get all cryptic on peoples asses.
I was watching the home run derby because well, that piece of canadian bacon was playing.
Josh Hamilton is one crazy cyborg alien.
Oh yeah, if you guys didn't know but JUSTIN MORNEAU WON THE HOME RUN DERBY.
Yeah, espn didn't catch the memo I think their heads are too far up the sob story that is Josh Hamilton.
I mean don't get me wrong, that kid is one big piece of talent. And kind of nice to look at.
He has tattos, so he's automatically kind of a big deal. I wanna meet him and play the "I'll show u mine if u show me your(s).................tattoos"
But congrats Justin for being a super awesome guy.
We're only 1 1/2 games behind and we have the home run derby champ.
Watch out.
Because,
1: It's true.
2: It sounds kinda kinky.
3: It would look good on a blue shirt and big white Tahoma, Verdana or maybe Webdings if you wanna get all cryptic on peoples asses.
I was watching the home run derby because well, that piece of canadian bacon was playing.
Josh Hamilton is one crazy cyborg alien.
Oh yeah, if you guys didn't know but JUSTIN MORNEAU WON THE HOME RUN DERBY.
Yeah, espn didn't catch the memo I think their heads are too far up the sob story that is Josh Hamilton.
I mean don't get me wrong, that kid is one big piece of talent. And kind of nice to look at.
He has tattos, so he's automatically kind of a big deal. I wanna meet him and play the "I'll show u mine if u show me your(s).................tattoos"
But congrats Justin for being a super awesome guy.
We're only 1 1/2 games behind and we have the home run derby champ.
Watch out.
Friday, July 11, 2008
As if my crush couldn't get crushier.
Nick Punto has been on a 7 game hitting streak in which he's batting .478 (11-23) over that period of time.
YOU do not know how happy this makes me.
Wait, if you read my blog you probably do know how happy it makes me.
Last time I was at the game every time he was up to bat I'd sing "dream weaver"
The chorus not the creepy noises before and after the song.
I see the past games I've been people have been bowing and saying "we're not worthy"
That shits epic. I enjoy it thoroughly. If I was a dominatrix I'd whip out my.....whip.
Moving on.
Gardy pretty much said he's going to be our every-day SS.
I knew this would happen and I'm calling that we're going to win the division at the end of the year. We're going to sweep the white sox then go to kansas city and win them all too. I see these things.
Wishful thinking brings you a looooong way.
He's short.
He's "scrappy".
He's easy going.
He's a leader.
He rides unicorns.
He's a ninja, and lately a pirate because he's been stealing fast balls and hitting singles.
He's the resident slurpee maker.
He's Nick Punto.
....I'm not worthy.
PS: And all you Punto haters who hate on how he sucked and now you hate him more because he doesn't? Please send $1.00 to the "go f-yourself" fund. It's for a great cause.
/show-boating
YOU do not know how happy this makes me.
Wait, if you read my blog you probably do know how happy it makes me.
Last time I was at the game every time he was up to bat I'd sing "dream weaver"
The chorus not the creepy noises before and after the song.
I see the past games I've been people have been bowing and saying "we're not worthy"
That shits epic. I enjoy it thoroughly. If I was a dominatrix I'd whip out my.....whip.
Moving on.
Gardy pretty much said he's going to be our every-day SS.
I knew this would happen and I'm calling that we're going to win the division at the end of the year. We're going to sweep the white sox then go to kansas city and win them all too. I see these things.
Wishful thinking brings you a looooong way.
He's short.
He's "scrappy".
He's easy going.
He's a leader.
He rides unicorns.
He's a ninja, and lately a pirate because he's been stealing fast balls and hitting singles.
He's the resident slurpee maker.
He's Nick Punto.
....I'm not worthy.
PS: And all you Punto haters who hate on how he sucked and now you hate him more because he doesn't? Please send $1.00 to the "go f-yourself" fund. It's for a great cause.
/show-boating
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About Me
- Karlee
- Macy's owns my soul. I sling lotions and makeup to make you feel pretty, and smell of gingery goodness. And no, I don't have any samples.
