Magglio Whoredoniez

Pre Game

-Welcome back Bert and RIP Gardy's brother, may you rest in peace <3.
-Joe Nathan takes golfing seriously, too seriously. I would assume his random twitches and jolts when he's pitching goes for the same when he's playing golf then randomly screaming "THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!".....ya creep.
-Hi Cuddyer, I'll be seeing you sunday. And I'll be asking for a card trick. If you don't bring cards I'm going to, no backing out buddy.


Tpp of the first
-Livan, you picked the sleeveless look tonight. How fancy of you, did I mention I love those? I do.
It's so red neck...it's kind of like they are wearing muscle shirts. With shirts underneath because you wanted to wear your muscle tee super bad, but it was too cold out.
-WOAH LIVAN YOUR GLOVE IS SO RED.AND SO AMAZING. I cannot handle how amazing your glove is.
-Polanco still looks like a chipmunk.

-If Livan has a shut out tonight, we are wearing our hick muscle jerseys every time he pitches.


Bottom of the first
-galaragawagamaga goo goo chicka boom boom?
-Who walks Carlos Gomez? Oh, people who throw balls. Duh.
-Good job harris if you weren't so impatient gomez would of stolen second.
-Double play Mauer is up. *waits* (Gomez stole second. Because Mauer isn't impatient) grounder to the right side? *GASPS* NO WAY!
-Gomez scored on a wild pitch. SUHWEET, Morneau looked waaaay too excited.
-Morneausy two out single, I'm liking this whole Morneau hitting thing. I enjoy it.
-Known fact: It's hilarious to hear a grown man say "come on Cuddy Bear!"
-"ever been to never never land?" Bert...you never cease to amaze me.

Top of the second
-Magglio Whoredoniez tied the game. Your hair is disgusting, you and Nick Swisher should date.
-home run, double, and a single...three pitches. LIVAN NO.
-Bases loaded? Nobody out? Where am I?
-Ughhhh...Cuddyer I love your rocket launcher. Loves it.
-Jacque Joneeeeeesssss. SWEEET CHEEEEKS.
-AMAZING DOUBLE PLAY, hey Livan....hug your infield right now.


Bottom of the second
-ohhh, Kubeloution. Isn't this like your 5th strike out in a row? Yeah. No good.
-Lamb has thick full black hair. Bahhhh bahhh black sheep have you any wool?
-*ps* I miss you Marney.

Top o' duh third.
-Ooooh we're halfway there...OOOOH-oooh we're LIVAN on a praaayer.
-Gomez and your crazy over throws.
-Bert, say something funny. Whoredoniez is skurry.
-We got out of the inning safe again. Heart Palpitations=4

Bottom of the third
-They need to stop feeding Bert sweets. First it was his b-day cake. Then Mauers. Now he has cookies.
-Mr. I got a cortisone shot in both of my shoulders and I hit doubles wassap?
-First dumb Liger move: hitting Gomez.
-Second dumb Liger move:Not catching a ground ball to third. Bases loaded 0 ut.
-ahhhh...ball 4 bases loaded rbi. Thanks Mauer for not hitting cause ya know..double plays..ick. But Morneau took the double play for him.

Top of the third Minne-snow-ta Twins 3 Detroit Ligers 1
-Andy Van DYKE!
-Slow Lollipop curve? Really Dick? Stop free basing black tar heroine?

Bottom of the third
-OOOOOOH Kubeloution is back. With a triple too.
-Kubel tagged out at home. Good job. You aren't back.

Top of the fourth
-Bert cooked his head, I guess.
-61mph curve ball. Awesomeness, Livan has it.
-Hahaha, Bert so wants Dick to swear.

Bottom of the fourth
-Rain, Snow, Locusts?.....Dick you actually made a funny. *claps*
-Gomez getting on base 3rd time tonight. You are great.
-"A bert blyleven curve ball"- Bert Blyleven.....wow your name dropping yourself? Who does that?
-Oh my gosh, Gomez is hurt :( Poor thing don't scare the shit out of me. Oh good he got up and now hes being driven off the field. Go Go Gomez be okay!
-Nicky is playing for him. *squeaks*
-"I just wanted to ask you a question with a mouth full of cookies"

Top of the fifth
-Nick Punto, center fielder. Let's see some magic.
-1-2-3 innings make karlee smile.

(bottom of the fifth was non existant so was top of the 6th)

Bottom of the sixth
-Bahh bahh black sheep got a single.
-"do you have a car? YOU have a car right?"- Bert Blyleven

Top of the seventh
-blah.

Bottom of the seventh
-the cutest republican in the world got a home run.
-5th double of the year, good freaking job. And Mauer scores from first? WHAT? Yeah. Wow.
-Cuddyer with a double? Morneau scores? I'm liking this.
-5 straight hits= niceeeeeeeeee
-young gets an rbi single. cuddyer scores. 8-1.
-sweet baby jesus i love baseball.

Top of the eighth
-suckage. yay.

Bottom of the eighth
-We just kick ass, two more runs. The guys who are supposed to be hitting are hitting...finally.
-OH wait three. Good hustle Cuddyer.
-OMG, I can't handle all this awesomeness.


Top of the ninth
LE TIGRES 1 ROCKET BATS 11
-"awwww did that hit anthony? I sure hope so"-bert blyleven speaking about a foul hitting towards La Panta. And his sudden hatred for him.
-Juan Rincon actually sits bitches down and wins the game


Post Game
-I'm swimming in a huge pool of happy soup. It's warm and it makes me feel happy. Roy Smalley looks like that one thing in lord of the rings..that says my precious. Sorry I don't know his name because I'm not a damn nerd like you!
-Mike Lamb, you are very adorable with clean waxed brows. I'm glad you took my advice.