Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Before you say anything....I know I've been a bad blogger this year. Stop yelling. It hurts my ears.

I have decided I might make a blog with all sports involved. I must admit this but baseball isn't the only sport out there thats worth ranting/bitching/praising. The site will be up shortly :)

Now onto this here beisbol.

This year has been very emotionally draining. From the heart breaking loses to the epic wins. And it's weird to say after all of our bullpen malfunctions we are only 1 game behind first place with only a handful of games left. This is why I love this game, it's almost every day for what it seems half the year then all a sudden the last week is the most stressful thing you've been through since prepping for a colonoscopy (thats how it felt every time I watched Jesse Crain pitch, actually)

Now here I will randomly write out some of my feelings about this year:

- At first, I wanted to strangle Cuddyer with his own lack of confidence at the plate. He was like that girl in school who was nice and charitable and super into team work. But she smelled bad and always somehow ruined your happy with doing things like throwing up on you while in choir practice (never lock your knees), budding in the lunch line and taking the last of the chicken fries, and of course cheating off of your work.
But then years go by after graduating (years are months in baseball) and she's super hot, smells of rich mahogany and is a complete man eater. So I guess what I am trying to say is Cuddyer got hot in the game sense, and noway in the physical. Or he got possessed by the ghost of Kent Hrbek or Count Clutchula turned him into one of his minions. Yes, I just said Count Clutchula. Karlee Kanz 2009. Copyright.

- I still don't know why I keep rooting for Nick Punto, did that sound mean? I didn't mean it to be. He loves the game so much you just want that short shit to succeed at anything he does. That scrappy, bunting, head first sliding sunnuva b. He magical, thats why. Unicorns the size of gnats run through his body and work him like a trojan horse.

- I don't know if you guys heard about this at all but Joe Mauer is like....super good. He's hitting like .845 or something. And the home runs he's hit this year if you split them in half it is what prior to this year was his career high. ( did I just make your head hurt with that horribly constructed sentence?)
His SLG is .602 and his freaking OPS is 1.047. Seriously, what kind of crazy voodoo rituals has he been doing? Has he been doing them with Vladdy G? Since he is obviously a witch doctor. He is either Iron Man, The Terminator, A Transformer, or a 25/25/25/25 of Nancy Drew, Mcguyver, the ghost from Ghost Writer and The Million Dollar Man.

- Justin Morneau, stop being a big ouchy Canadian. Get better a-sap. Same goes for you Kevin Slowey.

-I felt sick to my stomach when one day I uttered out these words to my friend "I wish Boof Bonser was back"

When it comes down to it I am shocked with the position we are in right now. We deserve it, our team is young and has been through a whole lot and I feel as if they have matured greatly since last year. One thing that worries me is if we do make the playoffs we would be playing the Yankees. But that my friend is a whole other blog post.

Stay classy, Minnesota.

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Macy's owns my soul. I sling lotions and makeup to make you feel pretty, and smell of gingery goodness. And no, I don't have any samples.