Saturday, June 28, 2008

ooooh we're LIVIAN on a prayerrr
It's been a while, I hope I'm not bad luck and they lose.

Top of the second
mil-a-wau-kee-yeah 1 minnuh-so-duh 0

-SO Alexi likes flicking people off,livan really enjoys those sleeveless jerseys. Has anyone give him the memo that they are inside and it isn't hot out...or in..there?
-Livan, stop breakin' my balls man. It's my first day back from the long hiatus and you gotta play me like that?
-Livan, an error? Lets thank that the ninja Nick Punto was fast enough to make it a less horrible mistake, kind of like when your parents conceived you...okay that was too much we're only behind by 2.
-Livan is also a ninja.

Bottom of the Second
-So last night, the game was interrupted like 4-5 times by a beach ball? Oh Yeah. Screw Brewers fans.
-Dick Bremer should of played for the rock paul saints.
-Kubel, now walk it out.
-TC and the milwaukee mascot looked like they were making out. In the darkness. Creepy. And to think TC wasn't going to walk in the same footsteps as Miley Cyrus.
-Mike Lamb looks like he should be wielding a sword, and body armor. He looks like such a...narnian character, Punto can be like a narnian since they are super short. Yep.
-I'm Bobby Boucher, my mammy said dat baseball is duh I swing and miss baseballs, because mammy says that they are orbs of the debil in which if it hits my baseball bat it sucks out all the happiness out of me. Brian Buscher you fail me once again. Go to narnia with Lamb.
-Hey Repub, or Tom Cruise and George W Bushs love child. Please hit a single?
-Rally cookies? Bert by the end of the season you are going to turn diabetic.
-Tom Harris W dare you.

Top of the third

-Ryan Braun looks like a 12 year old whos father was a galago: Image and video hosting by TinyPic
am I right or am I right?
-whilst I was googling galago(holy crap say that 10 times fast) aka bush babies livan has gotten himself in quite a pickle.
-He got himself into one of those pickles you get at the gas stations in that big bag full of pickle juice. Yep one of those since he decided to let another run score. And I will full-out say this. If they eventually take him out and put in Boof, I'll jump out of this here plane. And there isn't even any snakes on it!
-GOD NO! RIGHT WHEN I SAY THAT he takes off his car cover and probably drinks two more beers before half assing-ly warming up.....yeah its 5-0 now. I think this means I should NEVER blog ever again.
-Karlee. It's only the top of the third. And this is the MN Twins. We like come backs. We love coming from behind. Tee-hee.
-See wow, a couple fly balls and we're out. Why couldn't you of done thatuh..yeah..earlier?

Bottom of the third
-Punto, do work! Please don't strike out again. You already threw your bat. Settle. Or fail.
-Mauer, wassap.
-.........we're already done? WTF? What happend!?

Top of the fourth

-oh thank you livan is still playing. Id rather have him pitch than Boofeteria.
-oh...could this be a 1-2-3 inning? *gasps*
-Oh it so is!

Bottom of the fourth
-THANKS MORNEAU for being strong and sending a laser beam to the second basemen. I don't know his name, wanna know why? Because I don't care.
-Monroe its okay *hugs* and Kubel, go yard. Make momma proud. Think of lolcats.
-Buscher stop making me feel like I'm going to throw up my spleen and hit the ball in a gap and let morneau score okay?
-Im super hating on this umpire. Suck a big fat one.

too busy sulking, woe is me and karlee has to eat now.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Kevin not so Slowey (Oh I'm such a card!)

I enjoy that our pitchers are better in clutch situations than our 3,4,5 hitters.
Can our 3,4,5 hitters be Slowey, Korecky, and Hernandez please?
Since ya know, Livan forgot how to pitch and all.

I guess things are kind-of looking up for the yellow submarine shaped cakes filled with cream.

I mean, Juan Rincon is gone, it's like your worst player is off the dodge team ya know, the kid who always gets hit right away and you end up losing because everyone is just so pissed that he doesn't even give any effort into "dodging"

That's Juan Rincon.

Perkins is going to go yard tonight, I mean we're playing Milwaukee.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

there comes a time.....

when a blogger becomes more than a blogger.

my friends..

I have become.

Debbie Downer.

Dear MN Twins,

6 game losing streak? Oh and you got swept by the FUCKING WHITE SOX?
Out of alllllllllllll the teams it had to have been them?


Ick ick ick.

Okay and this is why I haven't blogged, because of this.
I just get mad again.
Just let it go, life goes on.

I'll be back when Im in my happy place.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Jeter you silly foooooool

Lat time I checked, when ANYONE, even ichiro hits off the right field wall you know better that you BEST not try to turn that into a double.

But this foolish man thought different:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
ya know, the very homosexual looking one?
Okay the one on right right in the front. HIM. YEAH. PETER, oh..Jeter? Oh alright.

But he hit a "I'm Derek Effing Jeter wanna be double" off the wall where the cobra commander lives.
He's a part of the fantstic four, see the stretchy guy :)

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
When he throws I hear a faint whistling noise comming towards me, oh...whats that? Oh it's a MISSLE.

Jeter one word of advice:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

side note: Who else would play cuddyer BUT ADAM SANDLER, right? Right. Imagine him juggling a ball on the brim of his hat. He could so pull cuddyer off.


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Macy's owns my soul. I sling lotions and makeup to make you feel pretty, and smell of gingery goodness. And no, I don't have any samples.