Tuesday, July 31, 2007


even 3rd graders dont like him.

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I would just like to say how pointless the castillo trade was.
Terry. You made Castillo cry.
And probably Punto too..hell all of them.

Get minor league players for castillo rum?
And the deadling is approaching..3 o clock.
I wonder what he has up his sleeve.

I want shannon stewart.OMIGZ I miss you.

And I enjoy the sammy sosa talks. (makes me laugh)
Him and Tiny dancer would get along b/c Tiny dancer got a HR.

Mike Pizza delivery man?
He was so studly back in the day.
Fan girl crush for sure.
But isn't he like..60..and isn't sammy sosa like 80?

*shuffles feet*
If we trade Torii.
I'll have a seriously problem.
And that problem my friends is called;

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So..this guy walks into a bar..

And he ask's for a Busch Light.
And I laugh.


KC (we have good ribs, no not R.B.I's..Ribs. like..with the sauce.) 1
MN (we have better baseball..And we HAVE r.b.i's. Ya know..the kind when you score?) 3

Muffin Man..does whatever a muffin man can. Right lil Scotty Baker?
And you did.
Punto at 2nd huh. I would say "well why doesn't he just play 3rd like always and busch light can play on 2nd..oh.oh..oh...oh wait..he isn't good enough to play any position he wants...unlike Punto.. Okay thanks."
Oh wait I just said it. Well there you go. I said it. Who wants to fight?

Brought out his boom stick to do some magic. Last time I checked you weren't good with people on bases and two outs. But hey...your "Joe Mauer" I forgot. I'm sorry.

Jason-free-bird-sammy-sosa-jr-Tyner is on a roll.
He gives me the giggle-fits whenever he hits the ball.
And thanks for almost giving me an seizure when you ALMOST got another home run.
Did you start eating Jimmy Johns and Mac and Cheese?
Do you wake up on the right side of the bed now too?
Do you sleep in the huge milk jug(r.i.p, it isn't there anymore..I don't know for how long..but I bet it's still there but I'm too stupid to realize it because I'm paying attention to staring at peoples asses and such) at the dome with Justin? Did you visit canada? (I don't know..I just pulled that one out of my ass)

De Jesus.
Stole ze ball from De Hunterist of all hunters.
Payback is de betch.

This made me laugh:
IBB: Hunter (by Gobble).
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It sounds like..some guy hunting for turkeys.
Okay I haven't had my morning coffee yet.
I don't want to get all batty and stuff. I have the past couple of days.
Decided to tone it down a bit. (but we all know a bit isn't enough.)
(shhh..I know its almsot 12 in the afternoon.)

Monday, July 30, 2007

Hola mets. Adios Twins.

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*le sigh*
PS: I swear i put two l's in there. But I didn't. Fuck you paint. Yes it's paints fault not mine.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Hai this is karlee reporting from hell

It's a tad big chilly here.
Why you ask?

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PS: we won.
were going up against black sabbath tomorrow.
reet reet reet.

Friday, July 27, 2007

m-m-m-more yes oh NO.

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My name is morneau and i come from the land.
The land of the hockey and maybe the..uh..base-a-ball.
I lived on the west side betch you best believe.
I can't rap worth shit but look at my chain.
Watch it swang swang swang.
uh uh.
Chicks dig the long ball. I'll show you my swing.
Swing-a batta batta swing *thrust*
I'll bring you up at plate and go BA-zing!
Boom boom here I go. I'm the gangsterist 'ish since....
Uh.uh. That other Canadian.
ricky ricky ricky reet reet ara ara skeet skeet.
Vanilla ice suck my WHATTTT.
I eat ketchup chips and maple cookies.
Jimmy johns jimmy johns me love you long time.
I'll be mixing your insant mac n cheese with my rbi bat.
Mauer has a pic of me bunting on top of his fireplace....wait.
Wow..sorry...cut..cut..OH STOP THE TAPE *scratch*

*long pause*

Betch pleaze.



Put a few beers in me.
And my mind goes all batty.

Remember that one time Lew tried to catch the ball? And landed like 3948498 feet from him?

His world of warcraft character did the same exact thing.
True story.
(fake of course)Screen cap:

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see i was so drunk i put WORD. True story.

PS: you get an extra funny picture treat from christy.

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OFF to watch the game.
Peace out homebre's.

*jumps on the lollercoaster*

SO me and my friend love those cat pictures.
Jya know.

and other places.
So us being smart. I told her to make some silly ones for teh base-a-balla.

PS: Christy is the shit.

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*gets off lollercoaster and straps on my lollerskates and skates off into the sunset*

karlee loves

Pulling a Blyleven

For doing some of the team mates names in anagrams.
This gave karlee an idea she couldn't resist.

I'm bored. and anagrams are fun.

WARNING: Some of these might be perverted. But I put it through an anagram maker thing a ma jig. So...yeah..NOT my fault. Proceed if you cant handle swear words.

Pat Neshek:
Keen Paths. (Oh yes my young padawan)
pees thank (heh..)
peen khats (it says peen. yep.)
phat knees (I must say his knees are pretty zexy)
spank thee (JACK POT!)

Justin Morneau:
outrun jasmine (id hate to be her)
autumn rejoins (sounds so fancy)
injure amounts (ORLY?)

Nick Punto:
side note: And they say his name ISNT dirty.
cunt pinko (cant..breathe..laughing..too..hard..)
no nutpick (pretty much sums it up right there.)
punk tonic (sounds like a bad-ass drink)
cop nut ink (that just sounds disgusting. nick your gross.)
no nip tuck (Wow..I really don't enjoy that show...)
Johan Santana: anagramless.

Micheal Cuddyer:
reclaimed duchy (sounds funny. say it outloud.)
ache cruddy lime (sounds like me after too many coronas)
achy cuddlier me (awwww)
a recycled humid (.....okay)

Jason Tyner:
enjoy rants (I bet.)
jenny roast (so he eats humans eh?)
trojans yen (.....)

Boof Bonser:
freon boobs (sexy)

Jason Bartlett:
banjo tartlets (that should be a rockabilly band name)
trojans battle (omg NO WAI)

Jason Kubel:
juans bloke

Scott Baker:
back otters
rocket bats (thanx pullin a blyleven)

Bert Blyleven:
verb bent yell (so true.)

Torii Hunter:
interior hut

Ron Gardenhire:
heroin gardner ( I KNEW IT)

I'll do more, but for now my computer is being an ass-jack.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


This interested me greatly.

This is some of the guy's averages the past 10 games.
From best to worst.

Mauer Pauer

Nick (fucking) Punto


Bartlett Pear

T Hunt


Now. Just sit back and take that back...take a loooong look.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

this is what happens..

When the twins lose. And you are bored. And you need to
cheer yourself up.

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I'm already going to say I'm sorry. Because I am.
PS: paint saved my artistically challenged picture horribly. But you get the idea. The worse it looks the better.

round up.

My thoughts on the past games I missed writing about.

Joe Mauer. In the park home run. YAY.
Two homes runs in one night Morneau. YAY.
Puntos avg. FINALLY going up. YAY.
Rondell White. YAY.
Pitching (until the last two games) YAY.
Lew Ford catching balls, AND seeing them. YAY.
Punto making crazy plays like he always does. YAY

Everything else.
Cuddy being hurt.
Hunter being hurt then being sick.
Redmond being hurt.
Oh yeah, and all the flipping errors we've been making.
I could go on but I know the nays would be bigger than the yays.
So lets just look at the yay's and feel happy.


Blue Jays- 139,004,449 Twins-1

We are like hmm 4350948 games behind.
Thats OKAY.

But todays game. It sucked all the hope out of me. I'm not jumping off the twins wagon I'm just done fighting with my demons and trying to brain wash myself. Maybe if I think it won't happen, it will. No more high hopes for this lil lady.
The detroit sweep botherd me but I still had that "it's okay GUYS! WE CAN DO IT!!11one" feeling.

Now it's just.
*sighs* guys..*shuffles feet* uh..lets get drunk.

At this point I don't know whats going to happen trade wise. Or the whole thing with the "OMGhypervenaltesTORIIHUNTER!" ordeal.
I don't care about that anymore. ALL I care about is watching the twins play.
Even if they lose horribly and make me binge eat on candy,watermellon gum that loses its flavor within 30 seconds and drinking so many bottles of water all of the electrolites in my body have drained out and I have not even an hour left to live.

Right now. All I need is a win. Just one, just to bring my spirits back up. I don't care about the whole play offs thing anymore, I just want to see them happy again, and winning. Doesn't matter. Just be happy.
*sings that dont worry be happy song*

I haven't written in a while because I'm bad with keeping at doing one thing. And sticking to it. (like the twins. okay ouch. bad one karlee.)

Go Twins. Keep that spirit alive even though canadia spanked us.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

sdf;lkjdfodiudfkjdfkj *ZAP ZAP YANKEES*

I could so say soooo many r-rated words
(like torii did tonight. I think he dropped that there f-bomb over 15 times.)
I don't like you.AT ALL.

I hope for us getting so riled up tonight we'll kick some yank ass tomorrow.

I'm glad torii said what he felt to the ump.
I was like "if we have no chance of winning..might as well start a rumble"

Then not even 3 minutes later. Ump made a bad call on Nick.
Nick did his mumbling I'm mad I want to kill you but..breathe in one..breathe out two..I'm okay okay..I'll just have some sweedish fish and go into the duggout because I'm a nice guy.....oooh TORII NOOOOOESSS!!!!111one.

Then BAM the toriisaurussex came out wanting a piece of that ump.
And he so did.
Sometimes I wish they have mics on them at all times, and somehow in a world where swear words could be heard on national television....it would be a good day.

Were 6 behind in the wild card
.8 behind first.
1 run scored in the past 30 innings?
NO!NAUGHTY! *sprays them with water*

I still love you though, I won't jump off the twinkie train of love and happiness.

kick them BITCHSOXXXezzzz..

About Me

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Macy's owns my soul. I sling lotions and makeup to make you feel pretty, and smell of gingery goodness. And no, I don't have any samples.