Thursday, January 28, 2010

The year of the J.

Is it just me or are there a whole lot of guys on the team that has the letter "J" at the beginning of their first or last name?(The ones that matter, naturally) We sign J.J Hardy and now Jim Thome? All we need to do is sign Jarrod Washburn and I'll be a happy camper. Oh yeah and give Joe Mauer 500 billion dollars and all you can eat Jimmy Johns (more J's) so he'd stay in Jminnesota.

Jim Thome is the baseball version of Brett Favre, let's just hope he doesn't strike out and lose the game in the third straight game 163 at the end of the 2010 season vs the Royals. (did you catch the whole, 'that will never happen because the Royals are the Lions of baseball.' aura?)

Did I mention that J.J Hardy and Jeff Manship are complete babes? I think I might have some new baseball boyfriends, watch it Punto and Slowey you got competition. Manship was born in 85 so he is automatically way more awesome than anyone else on the team. Gomez used to be my 85 buddy, and birthday partner but he up and left me.

So kids, I'll be at twins fest on Saturday. You can find me playing patty cake with TC, or stalking Nick Punto all Dick Cheney-esque.

So simply put here is my take on signing Jim Thome. Yes, he's old. He'll be most def a hall of famer, he still has it and really think of our past "bench" guys. Please. Matthew Lecroy, Jeff Cirillo, Mike Lamb, Brian Buscher, and I can't forget lil L Rod Luis Rodriguez. He is the best we have had in a long, long time. And for 1.5 mil!? Uh can you say steal? Yikes.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Rundown.

So, I know it's been a while....I could tell you all my reasons as to why it's been so long I have written but I'd rather just tell you I've been fighting the resistance of the apocalyptic force of a certain purple and green dinosaur from planet channel 2. It's complete bullshit but it made you stop wondering now didn't it?

Now onto what I do best. Talk about baseball in the way a drunken college guy would to his friends while playing beer pong.

Dude, have you all seen Pat Neshek lately? I remember the day when he looked so lanky but he kind of looks like a brick house now. I don't know if it's just me, but I see it. It's been a while since we have been graced with the wondrous presence of said awesome man. Pat Neshek is too hard-core to even attempt to think of using performance enhancing drugs.
He's a good Minnesota boy, not a stupid guy from Jersey Shore. But if he was a character (I know they are human beings but, that show just CANNOT be real) on Jersey Shore his guido name would be "the freakshow" for super obvious reasons. Sorry Tim Lincecum for stealing your nick name, he is all the crazy and you just look like you should be a member of Miley Cyrus' band.

Now onto the main reason of this rant. I think Pat Neshek finally started eating red meat again. Remember I blamed his arm issue on his addiction to Wii and his weak body with the lack of meats? Do any of you remember me posting this picture? :

That picture has came to fruition. But he isn't Sidney Ponson fat. But he HAS to be nomming on some cheeseburgers now. He looks healthy and ready to kick some ass.

We acquired JJ Hardy from the Brewers in the off-season. My friend who is a Brewers fan (yeah, they have weird right?) said the ladies loved JJ Hardy. But I must say he has some serious competition here. Have you SEEN Joe Mauer? Holy crap. He's kind of a stud.

JJ Hardy, I heard someone really misses you though:

Ryan Braun, in his natural habitat. He misses sharing his grubs with you.

It's alright, Nick Punto will make you slushies and feed you gummi bears he keeps in his pocket. And then let you ride on his unicorn.

.....I know, I bet you all missed me.

Kar out.

side note: BRETT FAVRE.

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Macy's owns my soul. I sling lotions and makeup to make you feel pretty, and smell of gingery goodness. And no, I don't have any samples.