Joe Mauer is awesome....totes.

There comes a day when you realize something so profound it just blows you out of the water. Today is that day.

Just kidding it isn't THAT serious, but none the less the post game Joe Mauer interview tugged on here Karlees heart strings a lil bit.

Here is the part where it got to me (I got all the quotes correct, even Mauers Minnesota-isims)


Robbie It's my cow ski: “Joe it was 8 years ago today you were drafted first overall by the Minnesota Twins. Was it a dream come true when you look back at that day and you look at your career whats it been like for you”

And then the one who add's in too many “uhms” “uhh's” and “ya know's” in his vocab (it's the Minnesotan...ya know) goes on to say:

Joe 'I'm the rocket man' Mauer: “Well it doesn't seem that long ago *insert charming smile here* but-uh yeah just an unbelievable day and-uhmm ya know this is where I wanted to be since I was a little kid and ya know that was just the beginning of it and-uh ya know I'm here now and I'm trying to stay here for a while”

And that is where I fell in love with that big goof all over again. People say he's going to be in it for the money once he hits free agency. But he knows his counterpart, compardre and uber Canadian boyfriend Justin Morneau would disown him and that amazing M&M man-love-o-thon would be no more. Also, his mommy would be pissed. We don't want momma Mauer to get ticked off, did you see how serious she was in the Joe Nathan/ Joe Mauer commercial? She means BUSINESS.

So Boston, New York, and yeah even YOU LA. Mauer doesn't want any business with you. He loves Minnesota, his mommy, and his boyfriend way too much to leave. Would you break up Bert and Ernie? Marco and Polo? Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart? Jon and Kate? Kit and Kat? Mike and Ike! NO. NO you wouldn't! Don't mess with perfection. M&M for life. Or, until Mauer actually turns into a crazed ego maniac and plays for the Yankees and crushes my life. But until now, all is good in Hollywood. Or Minnesota, you get it.

Fin.

ps: Sorry I haven't been blogging, my brain has been on overdrive with other such things.

pps: by the way we won in the 10th inning when Joe Nathan sat down Ken-ha-you-didn't-little-big-league-us-tonight-Griffey and Ichiro-yes-my-last-name-is-Suzuki. He struck out Ichiro. STRUCK OUT. I think thats the like 1st time he did it this year...or I can be gravely exaggerating

....really?

Manny Ramirez is a chick, I should of realized that when he had those long dreaded locks. I mean a female fertility drug? Really? What kinda voodoo shit are you up to? I am slowly disliking baseball, because most of the people that are VERY good are juicing up or attempting to get pregnant, like Manny obviously was trying to do.

Baseball is supposed to be a little boys dream to play, to look up to the greats and say "I want to be like them" and now a days, who wants to be like A-Rod or Manny? Hell, I looked up to Mark McGwire now I feel like my childhood was all a lie (that is a HUGE over exaggeration, mind you) I am going to blame him for my social anxiety that I had in middle school.

I think if these idiots decide to use drugs to make them better, they should never be able to play baseball. It isn't fair, what so ever. Personally if I found out if Justin Morneau were juicing I'd jump off my roof, and end up having one messed up twisted ankle. It's the thought that counts.

I guess there will be cheaters no matter what, in whatever you do in your life. So if you are a child, and your standing in line at the water park and you see a kid budging in line, don't be afraid to pull a Nancy Kerrigan on them.


So here is the moral of the story: I think douchebag idiots should never play baseball. They should make them do a 100 true or false test, to see how much of a douchebag they are. If they are in the 30-40 range they are good, if u are under 30 you might as well settle for a softball beer league,and if u are over 40 your Manny Ramirez, and should be out for more than 50 games.

PS:

I LOVE DENARD SPAN.
Robbie its-my-cow-ski is interviewing him and he's like "what do you do during a rain delay" and Denard goes "look at you and watch the rain" and Robbie obviously blushes, duh and says "boy that is just a joyous way to spend it I'm sure" and Denard is like "yeah man you are so beautiful"

And he took a nap. He so brought up Jurassic Park, and he doesn't know how to twitter, and he wishes he did because he is bored.

He's stealing my heart one sarcastic comment at a time.

This is what happens during a rain delay.

What I am about to tell you right now furthers the reasoning as to why I love this team to pieces:

I sit here watching the pre-game show to the second game that probably won't happen.
Who in the hell schedules the only time the Twins and Bo Sox meet in Boston IN APRIL?
Idiots...anyways. They show Scott Baker in the club house, mind you he blew and his name anagram "rocket bats" fit him too well giving up three two run home runs. But oh, this isn't why I love them.

He's being all quiet, and scott baker-y and all a sudden I hear a loud squeal, at first I thought Nick Punto accidentally turned around and saw Mike Redmond in his face (you all know EXACTLY what I mean), but then I started to hear the theme music to Jurassic Park. JURASSIC PARK! MY FAVORITE MOVIE. And I know the exact scene they were watching. It's when the family is getting ran out of the building by the velociraptors and they go to the main concourse where the huge t-rex skeleton is. And then they are like "OH NOES WE DED" and then T-Rex comes in and its like "NOM NOM NOM raptor NOM NOM NOM...*huge roar*", and they run out like "omgz, thank u t rex ahhhh"


Shooooooooooot Haaaaaaaa!

So MN TWINS, you are on thin ice. You better win your next game. If it's tonight or not. Jurassic Park saved your ass. Otherwise I would of ripped Scott Baker a new whatty-you-think.

Oh....Gardy

I am so glad we won in the manner we did tonight, otherwise Gardy would of just broke down and cried.

He seemed so bummed last night, lets thank the greatness that is Jason Kubel who hit for the cycle tonight. I have been hearing so many people saying the Twins suck etc blah blah. Last time I checked the season JUST started, and they have a ton of games to go.
Just be happy you aren't the Washington Senators. If I was a Washington Senators fan this year, or a Seattle Mariners fan last year. I wouldn't be too happy. Oh and also, be happy you aren't a Cubs fan.



I see this team, and it is capable of so many things. Like tonight for example, we didn't have Young, Gomez, or Casilla and we still pulled it off. Every person on that team has a purpose. I just am iffy with the whole pitching staff.


Tonight, all in all I am glad to finally see Kubel smile for more than .001 of a second.

Back to The South Side

Pre Game:

-I have come to realize just how important Joe Crede was to the White Sox. And it makes me just that much more excited to have him. Dingo= MN Twins Baby= Joe Crede. We stole your dingo, Chicago. Yes we did.

-I hope they stop showing the last game of last year. Please it hurts too much.

- Joe Crede is great. He is just cool beans, and all that and a bag of chips. He says Minnesota like Minnesotans do, I just got the warm and fuzzies. Why yes I did.

- R.A Dickey, I am kind of way too excited to watch you pitch. I just sure hope Morales can catch you. Nerves, I has dem.


Top Of The First.

-Bert Blyleven already wants to punch Dick in the face.....I sense it. Dick you just called Bert fat.
-Hooded jerseys? That just looks silly as all get out.
-......I wonder if Dickey is wearing a dickey....hehehehehe.
-Sand Castles takes a walk, with his cool hood. I want him to put the hood up.
- J Mourn up in teh hizzzzy. He is hood-less. It's because he's Canadian and 30 degree windchill is shorts weather to him.
-Sand Castle scores, by the most awkward J Kubes hit I've seen. Oh hai we are ahead.
- Cuddyer so has the hood on. He looks so snuggly and cute. So Cuddy-bear-esque.
-Pierzynski so just said something to Crede, probably "I miss your epic neck massages in the hot tub after each game"

Bottom of The First
-Dickey does not have a dickey on. I am so sad.
- Uhm, Delmon Young you are an epic failure. I don't know how to feel about that error and lack of catching that ball. Lets blame it on the wind? BERT stop being a homer.
- Nick has a beanie under his hat. And that makes his cuteness level to level "seafoam green"
- Dickey strikey outy.
- two on board for Jim Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil Thome
- Thanks Dick for telling me Dickey got pounded last year VS the White Sox. I didn't miss your negativity.
- I can has Jim Thome strike out? Yes <3
- Morneau, I love you.

Top of The Second
-Air Supply as his intro song!? I just laughed so hard. That was probably amazing. Wait...that was the best thing ever.
-CREDE HOME RUN AHHHHHH, I feel so grand right now!! Oh, I love baseball. I think we need air supply as his walk on song from now on. Agreed?

+my interwebs is being mean, I'll update when I can. All I can say is Joe Crede= love

Best team ever!

....well standings wise we are #1.
We'd be going to the play offs if the baseball season were 3 games....

Here is my thoughts so far on this team this year:

+I chose Cuddyer to pick on because I know he'd prove me wrong. Maybe he is scared he'll break all his fingers and miss the rest of the season like he did last year. Thats why most of the time the bat didn't leave his shoulder. Rbi leader, I say I am sorry. FOR NOW.

+Joe Crede has anger issues. I mean by all means get pissed off at yourself for striking out, throwing your bat, gloves and helmet. Just use that anger to actually HIT the ball next at bat k? Oh I also love that his walk on song is Metallica. He is so hard core.

+Nick Punto was already shown on the final score for his double play amazingness. He is eligable for a golden glove this year, I officially start the PUNTO FOR SS GOLDEN GLOVE, BLOW ME JETER 09. His walk on song is "Thriller"....I swear my crush gets bigger as each day goes by. It's disgusting to tell you the truth.

+Shit...........I miss Joe Mauer.

+ I love D-Span. Each day goes by, he gets more amazing and I think less and less of sweetcheeks...*weeps* Tooooooooooooorri.

+My friend had on a rivas t-shirt tonight, I love her.

+ Joe Nathan is not human.

+ Gomez, SETTLE. NOW.

+I really really really really miss Mauer. It's like that annoying neighboor that always has to talk to you when you go to your car? And you are like "why are they ALWAYS outside? Do they just WAIT TO ANNOY ME!?" then one day you go outside and you get that "i just got spooked" feeling. Said neighboor is nowhere to be seen. You shake it off. Then the days go by and no said neighboor. Your whole life is off it's axis. I need you Mauer, like bee's need flowers, and us needing bee's to pollenate the flowers to produce oxygen and...I need my honey! I want my honey back!

+We are 3 games deep, and I am already being a complete spazz. For the two people who read this (HI MOM!)* get excited.


*: my mother does not read this blog.

live blogging

Wanna see me blabber? Live blogging it tonight with Pulling A Blyleven, check the links ;)

-kar

Opening day blues

Here I go being a debbie downer right off the bat, but it needs to be done.
I serve it up straight, with no filler, tough love my friends.

Michael Cuddyer needs to learn how to step out of his comfort zone. To me he seemed very reserved, and waaaaaaaaay too picky at bat. The guy barely swung, yes he got a run but he also struck out what seemed like 4904908 times. Yes, 4904908 times. I can go on and say that it's beginning of the season and he will get better but it felt just like the little of the Cuddyer we saw last year. He is past his prime in my eyes.


Wow I really shouldn't be blogging and listening to Metallica at the same time. It's anti Cuddyer music I guess.

This is what in my mind, was going to happen last night:

Liriano going 6 innings, 8ks with 1 earned runs and 4 hits. Then in comes Jesse Crain giving up 30 hits and 24 earned runs. Hmmmm weird, the guy next to me asked his friend is that was Juan Rincon when the Crainadian came out. I held back my laughter.

SIDE NOTE: I DON'T LIKE KEN GRIFFEY JR. Every game I've gone with him in it, he's gotten a HR. And every time it reminds me of little big league. He crushes my hopes and dreams. Him, Frank Thomas, Jim Thome and Nick Swisher can suck it.

Tonight will be better. Oh yes, it will be.

ps: Punto's ass was in prime ship shop shape last night. Esp when he was charging home plate then ran back to third and yelled SAFEEEEE. lol.

A True Yankee

My great uncle Johnny Blanchard died of a heart attack this morning. He was a two time world series champ with the 61' and 62' New York Yankees and won 5 pennants with them. Every time I saw him he always had some sort of yankees logo on him, he was a true Yankee till the end. And even during some sad times in our family he always seemed to put a smile on my face, may you rest in peace.

I wrote about him in this blog two years ago: