Tuesday, February 17, 2009

should have seen this coming a million miles away

Let me make this short and sweet.

Bill Smith,

You are sneaky. But not THAT sneaky.
We were all wondering as to why you did nothing in the off season?
How it's aware we need a good 3rd basemen.
Now I see what you were doing, you were waiting for Corey Koskie to
emerge out of his crypt to say "meh...lets do this!" and have at the ball and bat once more.
If this is true. I might spontaneously combust. I really don't want to die. I like the guy but if we sign one more person who used to play for us and think:
"maybe THIS TIME they will be good/ lets hope they dont get another career ending injury"
I just might...AGH!
Just let the guy play catch with the guys, feel like he's cool again and then just give him a werthers original and pat him on the back for a good days work.

ps: we need to drop Bonser. I said it.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Once again the Twins have been projected to be an epic fail.
What is up with everyone even certain beat writers *cough* think so low of the Twins?

I guess you gotta pick on the good guy.
Okay....okay relax. We locked down Nathan, Morneau, Punto, and Kubel.
Why fix something that did so well last year? Right?
I guess this is how the big wigs and GM's are thinking.
I'm trying my hardest to stay calm and collected but it's 4 days until pitchers and catchers report.

I guess it's understandable why we'd go for Crede.
He's prone to injury and won't be as good as he used to be.
That's the Twins way, that or bring em on up from the farm system.
I mean that isn't bad, that's where we got uh, all or our players pretty much?
I think Twins fans secretly wish we could toss our money around and buy players and build a massive huge epic team like the likes of the Yankees,Mets,Dodgers,Red Sox...etc.
If you disagree it sure seems like that's what everyone wants.

You gotta keep everything chill in the system, with the players, coaches, and GMs.
You see, just think if we signed a well known 3rd basemen. Let's say for the sake of my dreams coming true that 3rd basemen is David Wright. For mucho money, all the players get jealous and He's the new poster boy. Think how Mauer would feel, very un loved. Do you want to make Joe Mauer cry? Exactly.

Now you are saying, "Karlee...Justin Morneau is getting well paid and is well known!?!?!!one//"
Well, random mad person might I add this:
He's been playing for us and only us for a while. He deserves it. And he loves the Twins system. He has been seasoned, and simmered in the twins pot for hours. So there would be no animosity between the players because he deserves it.

Think of it this way, your in pre school hanging out with the red head, the girl who's cute but smells like pee, and the boy that will end up being smarter than any of you. And you all hang out every day, playing with legos and experiencing 4 square for the first time in your life. WOW, the red head sure knows how to toss that ball! After 4 square each day you get juice boxes and cupcakes. Isn't that something? But then a week later a new kid, overweight Tommy joins your pre school jamboree. Then something horrible happens, your teacher Mrs.Pennyworth announces to the class for the sake of being healthy there will be no juice box and cupcakes. It will now be until the end of time........one percent milk and carrots.

I WOULD BE MAD TOO, and then all your pre-school friends will start turning on each other and eventually kill Tommy.

Do you really want to mess with a very good combination of people, do you really want carrots and milk!? Watch out maybe karen the vegan will join your pre school and you will have to drink HEMP MILK! Then dan the guy who is allergic to everything can't eat carrots because he's allergic to carotene. Now you will eat celery. And cry.

.............baseball please start soon, I think I just might be going a little bit off the wall.

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Macy's owns my soul. I sling lotions and makeup to make you feel pretty, and smell of gingery goodness. And no, I don't have any samples.