Monday, May 19, 2008

i dont know how to quit you

Hi I'm alive. *waves*

Top of the first:
-Boof, I'll probably piss out unicorns if you get out of the first without anyone scoring.
-Saltallaaamachiaaabananaboat is playing!
-Cuddyer is in center field, Kubel in Left. This will be exciting.
-I still really hate Alexi Casilla, just to make sure everyone knows.
-Ian Kinsler is a stud.
-Boof is a stud for using his Jedi powers to lure a line drive right into his glove, he didn't even move it. Powers, he has dem.
-Micheal Young is a stud.
-if Boof is lucky he will still have his head by the end of the game.
-Josh Hamilton is a stud...woah I didnt notice how attractive this team is.
-I lied, Josh Hamilton is a big ugly because he just got a home run.
-OH YEAH guess what guys, I'm not going to piss out unicorns, I was so excited I already named my unicorn Nico.

Bottom of the first
-I don't like Alexi. He's the poor mans Carlos Gomez. You do not deserve the #1 spot. Oh I'm going to keep on talking crap because when I do that you "bad" players end up being "good" but its 1-2 I'm sensing a awesome strike out. Oh, nubber to the pitcher. heh nubber is a great word.
-I love me the repub. The only one I do love, little brendan harris foo-foo walking through the forest scooping up curveballs and boppin them in the gaps!
-I just heard a girl yell out "JOE MAUER" yes he's going to turn around and start unbuttoning his shirt slowly, winking at you and yelling out "take me here, right on home plate infront of 20,000 people!" .....shut your trap.
-Oh hai Mauer, line drives straight to players are NOT cool, but look at it this way if I was out there I wouldn't be able to catch it because I would of been too short. I guess thats a positive.
-I get to eat pei wei tonight, jealous?
-Morneau can you always hit home runs? Please? Every day? I'm not asking much I'm not saying every at bat just every day. Or a walk.
-Cuddyer, can you always hit home runs? Please? Every day? Am I a broken record? I WANT POWER!
-fill the bases so kubeloution can spank one up on the second level.....or it's the end of the first.

Top of the second
-coomer is on his second hot dog. Such a fattie, he should eat a hot dog each inning. If Bert was smart he'd say "you have to eat a hot dog each inning until we score"
-Oh yeah and Boof is gaining his weight back sloooowly, thats what happens when you drink BEER BOOF, yeah I seen it. I have eyes. I know what beer does to you. He's moving around like "yeeeesh...weird, why does my uniform feel more snug, hmmmm."
-Guess boof wanted to get out of that inning so he can make coomers stomach explode of hot dogs and chips.

Bottom of the second
-LMFAO DICK MADE A FUNNY! There is a poll on who is the best young left handed hitter and he's like "I wonder why Jason Tyner isn't on there" and Bert did his "ooooh you silllly" giggle. Yeah. Dick I like you more and more each day and you haven't used your damn maps yet. You got the hint.
-Oh I'm excited for the Tigers to come so we can feel the tiny wrath of renyt, his evil twin.
-Young I want to see a home run....young got thrown out by young. I'm happy I'm not drinking.
-Nick Punto is having a slow recovery, and they might send him down to florida. Nick Punto's hamstring stop being stingy and mean and selfish. We need his spunk back! I mean look he was in the duggout playing catch with himself, thats just pathetic.

Top of the third
-Sorry inhaling my food, if anything awesome happens I'll type it.
-Kinsler isn't cute anymore either. You "cute" guys getting solo home runs. psh.

brokeback mountain2 Little Big Leauge0 (bottom of the third)

-"Bronco Dicky lets go"- Bert Blyleven
-When you try to lay down a bunt. You don't try to run out of the box whilst trying to hit the ball. Okay? ALEXI!
-she's my cherrrry pieeeee....sweeeet rebup pieeeee.
-Oh yes....Harris to third. Thanks one guy who got a home run, you messed up reeeeal good.
-Joe Mauer you're good. Do work son.
-random: I really want to see Cuddyer use his rocket launcher from center field to get a guy out at home, and get him out.
-Joe Mauer= did work
-Morneau remember when I told you that you should get home runs? I'm just sayin....
-Morneausy gets his second walk.
-ick Cuddyer.

Top of the fourth
-42 pitches in 4 innings. Wow Boof if you didn't give up two home runs I'd be praising you.
Not burying you. I'm not doing that either though. I'm content.
-..................whoa that was,EPIC

Bottom of the fourth
-Kubeloution is still rearin' to go. Nice single.
-I'm surprised I've never seen a hitter actually swing and hit the catcher. I got hit in the head when I used to be a catcher, but also the girl didn't know how to hit on men let alone balls.
-reason 45904508 why i dont like everett: His walk on song.
-saltalamacchiachiapet is really cute too. Oh, I like the twins I forgot sorry.
-I knew gomez and casilla would be bffs...they are like joe mauer and justin morneau but.....yeah you get the point.

Top of the fifth Cow Pokes 2 The Alexi Casilla show 4

-I still don't like Alexi Casilla. *pouts*
-I love the salty sweat line on your hat Morneau. Super attractive.
-I kind of like Kubel in right field. Just a tiny bit though.
-55 pitches thrown in 5. He can go the whole game if he keeps up being all super awesome and epic.

Bottom of the fifth

this inning disapeared

Top of the sixth

-Mike Lamb=Nick Punto=Mike Lamb=Nick Punto=Mike Lamb.
-1-2-3 sixth. mmmmmm.

Bottom of the sixth
-Mike Lamb is about to break a bat up in some bitches ass if he doesn't hit it seems.
-There, sac fly....relax Lambers.
-They haven't shown coom dog since the second hot dog. I think he's in a dome dog coma.
-Mike Lambs eyebrows are so....tiny now.

Top of the seventh
-66 pitches into the seventh.
-now hes like 4560598459048 pitches. gahhhh.
-nice obnoxtious throw there boof..
-Boof you a need Bacardi and diet coke, 0 carbs 0 fat.
-Matty G, you going to be all super hero for us please?
-Matty G, you are my hero.

Bottom of the seventh
-every day eddddddie!

Top of the eighth
-6-5 rangers now. ICK.

Bottom of the eighth
-Justin Morneau, this is when you should get home runs and such. Such meaning rbis.
-saltys catching stance is kind of....preying mantis...and kind
-Dammit, Bahh bahhh

Top of the ninth
more cat pictures

Bottom of the ninth
-you know your team has no bench people when you let redmond hit for everett.
-this game is starting to make me nervous now. ughhhhh.
-lets go repub.
-OMG Mauer please don't hit into a double play, I might actually throw UP a unicorn.
-6-6.....this game all a sudden made me happy again.

Top of the tenth
-extra innings broseph.
-wham bam thank you mizzzzaam

Bottom of the tenth
-wham bam oh noez :(

post game:

1 comment:

RK said...

Hahaha, pissing unicorns. Made my night. No seriously, it's that easy.

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