aren't you just the sweetest guy in the world.

"Teams have an exclusive 15-day negotiating period with pending free agents before the market officially opens Nov. 13, but Hunter said, "I don't think there's going to be any negotiations."

Asked which side had halted the talks, Hunter said, "I think it was more me telling them."


Thanks for breaking everyones heart with those snotty remarks.
You are old.
You aren't new anymore.
You will not get the money you want.
You and A-rod should go to "I'm in denial because I think I'm better than I actually am SO I deserve 100 million a week" meetings.

OH Yeah Hunter.
MY ASS it isn't about the money.
It is.

"He did not rule out a return to the Twins.

"They might want to see what other teams offer and then get back to me," he said."

YOU are SO confusing.
But I still kind of like you.
I don't know why.
Ohhh..sweet cheeks.

Well....

Shit.

Like we didn't see this coming.
Torii Hunter and Carlos Silva filed for free agency today (monday)
We have 15 days to negotiate.

Lets see.
Hmmm.

I'm speaking of the Twins organization here.
So that means Torii Hunter and Carlos Silva won't be playing for us next year.

Other players filing for free agency include:

Alex Rodriguez, Luis Castillo, Shannon Stewart, Doug Mientkiewicz, Corey Koskie, Sean Casey and Kerry Wood.

Wouldn't you LOL your ass off if we tried to get Castillo back. I sure as hell would. It wouldn't happen but, ya know. Oh. Dougy. Come back plz. And Koskie. YOU TOO. oh oh ohohoh shannon stewart I miss you also.


All I have to say is.
We are screwed.

I'll take CURT SCHILLING for 500, Alex.

WHY are you on Jeopardy!?
GET OFF MY TV. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
YOU are not apart of the clue crew. OUT! NOW!

Matt Holliday,

Oh I just wanted to remind you that your in the world series.
So uhm. DON'T GET PICKED OFF ON 1st.
OKAY?
IDIOT.
You are NOT MICHAEL CUDDYER.
STOP.

ughh,
Karlee

Oh side note: I think Alex Trebek is an annoying ass.

Tweak! <3

We're picking up his 6 mil option for the 08 season.
*rubs hands together*


Joe Nathan says:

JACKPOT!

Beauty And The Beast

Beauty= The Rockies. B/c OMGZ Kaz is such a stud LOL. :|
Beast= The Red Sox. Need I say more?


SO.

got their handed to them on a
(yes the paper kind)
And Karlee kinda
until she thought that

Kinda looked like chris kirkpatrick from nsync. And is probably part cyborg alien. Or something not from earth. He's a creep. A big creepy creep.

Oh yeah.
SOMEONE STEAL A BASE.
I WANT ME SOME FREE TACO BELL.

Jeff Cirillo

Nice bloop single there last night against the Rockies.
Too bad nobody brought you home.
Did you start getting deja vu?
Thinking you were playing for the twins again?
I kinda did..I started to scream:
"goddamnit Nick Punto bring him home..or are you going to hit a lazy fly ball to left field! HUH!"

Then I realized I was watching the Rockies/d-backs game.
(sarcasm? If ANY have not caught on to my dry humor.)

But I was still waiting for Joe Mauer to walk up to plate to inevitably hit into a double play.
I was anticipating the lovely running skills of Micheal Cuddyer.
Stop leaning so clucking far off first base.
You get picked off as easy as I am to get in bed with.
VERY EASILY.
I was yearning for the horrible mistakes Jason Bartlett tends to run into.
BEGGING to see Nick Punto be horrible at bat. Yet amazing on the field. And realizing how much of a bad-ass he was in 06. Remember that? I sure as hell do.
But you don't. Because he was sucking more than debbie in 07.
Debbie..she did Dallas. Literally. You don't get it? Good.You aren't a creep like me.
(gotta love that there sarcasm.)

Minnesota Twins,

I already miss you. So this off-season I will probably be picking you apart to the point I'll sound like I hate all of you. But really. I'm just trying to pass time until next season. Then I'll have more reasons to laugh,cry,smile,drink,harpoon.

el-o el-o el-o el-o VEE EEE,
Karlee

Oh, Lew Ford.

So you don't want to play in the minor leagues for us?
So your a free agent now eh?
Hm.
I wonder which team would pick you up.

Just out of being random I'll go with the Montreal expos.
Wait. They aren't a team anymore?
Well Lew Ford you are here-by(circled)screwed.
It's okay Halo 3 came out, you'll be so pre occupied with that to even care whats going on with your free agency.

But you don't have to worry, you'll be picked up...right?
Who would turn down a level 15 dwarf wizard with x2 charm spells?
EXACTLY.


On a good note the Pear King Jason Bartlett B-rock funk master fresh won't be needing surgery for his shoulder. Baby gotta rest. So now you can say its your shoulders fault you got 26 errors this year. (highest in mlb for ss)


Oh yeah. Lecroy also elected free agency.
But really now. That's fine. Truly fine.
He wants to play "one more year"
Then become a coach.
Well, I'll be doing a co ed softball team next year Lecroy if u are interested.
Don't pass this chance up, might be the best offer you'll get.

I am quite the bitch today, if you haven't noticed.


Ahhhh..in mind boggling news in karlee land:
Watching the Indians/Yankees series made me feel a bit bi polar.
I hate both teams. And I had to pick which one to win?
I picked the Indians ONLY because they are from the central.
I caught myself saying "HELL YEAH SIZEMORE" then I thought I should start drinking again, since being sober is obviously making me think crazy thoughts.
And say things I'd never say. EVER. Grady Sizemore...REALLY Karlee?
I so went there. I went there, then I died a little inside...moving on.....

I never enjoyed the yankees. I think it's because I REALLY hate Jeter.
But who doesn't?
Oh yeah I don't like Johnny Damon either. Or whore-gay Posada.
AND THEY HAVE MY DOUGY BASEBALL.


And finally.
The first time you turn the heat on in your house.
It doesn't smell good...it smells like burning old-ness.

Oh yeah.
GO ROCKIES!

ONE more thing.
I MISS BERT BLYLEVEN.

Cuddyer.

Your boom stick is so big.
SO big you hit el beisbol out of fenway park.
Mommy like.

Lecroy can't throw.
Please, make him stop throwing.
PLZ.
PLZ baseball gods.

Punto bouncing boom stick balls off of the green monster being all ninja like.
Then punto hustling his cute booty to home.

Minnesota Twins,

Sorry guys, the office is on.
I still love you.
But uh. It's the office. Understand. Please.
I'll turn it back during commericals.

<3,
karlee

pouring rain= punto slip and slide.


ROUND UP:

Garrrreeettttt Jones got a home run.
Cuddy got a big boom stick.
We also played small ball.
Punto being all good.
It rained.
Wet baseball players.
Joe Nathan does what Joe Nathan does.
We win.
Huzzah.

dun dun dun dun..dun dun dun dun..CHARRGEEE

Bases loaded.
Morneau up.
You would think.. "OH HELLS YEAH"
But really...lately.
*shudder*
Not so much.
Prove me wrong Canada.
*watches tv for the verdict*
*plays jeopardy theme music since he's fouling off 4094887598 balls*
RBI single. Prove-age wrong-age of Karlee. Touche Morneau. Tou-flipping-che.

THANK YOU.
Man oh man Morneau. You fouled off so many balls I could of gone outside, mowed the lawn, walked around the block, ate some chicken pot pie, visit my relatives in California, fly back, go to the bathroom, GET a water then sit down. And then FINALLY you would of hit the ball.

Hi. I LOVE YOU RONDELLLLL.
3 run double.
Mmmmmm Mmmm Mmmmmm.

OH did I mention its the first inning?
Oh Because it is.
4-0.
Booyahkashaaa.

Okay Santana.
We made you a nice comfy 4-run pillow to sit on while you sit some bitches down.
Remember you want that strike out title.

Magglio crazy hair man has a .400 avg against the sit down bitch god?
Aw, hell naw.

Sit down, bitch.

top of the 2nd
Casilla does what...well..Casilla does. Grounds out.
Rayburn...you slipped and slid-ed ALL UP on that kubel boom stick hit.
That was pretty bad-ass..even though it wasn't our team. Damn you.
Mauer. If I had a magic carpet I'd let you use it so you don't have to run.
Or suck.

Bottom of the 2nd

Greaseball Magglio VS. Sit down, Bitch.
Ps: Bert just said Santan-ia.
Greaseball-1 (a walk)
Sit down, Bitch-0

CASILLA.
NO!
UGH..I AM.
No.. I'm done saying "hes a youngster, I'll give him ONE more chance"
No. I don't like you. When a ball is thrown to you, you catch it. And not stand there and go *gasp* OMGZ, I didn't catch it, THEN run. No. YOU RUN AND GET THE BALL.

Okay. Bases loaded? This kinda feels like that time when I went to watch Johan for the first time and he sucked. Hmmmm.
We gave you a 4 run lead.
And if you mess it up, YOU HAVE NO right to be Mr.Bitchtana and say you don't get run support. Okay?

Oh..one sit down bitch. Two to go.
Ya know what? Chicken in lemon caper sauce is delish.
I'm sooo going to re heat the left overs of that for my dinner.

bases loaded walk?
ORLY JOHANNA. Yes. You are a pansy ass woman now. Johanna.
Maybe Johanna, Justine, and Alexi can go get ice cream after the game....wait I didn't have to change Alexis name. It already sounds girly. Poor thing.

Micheal Cuddyer. YOU BREAK MY HEART. HEART. BROKEN.
Michelle is your new name. GO get ice cream with the other floozies.
3-4?
WTH.
WHA:LKDJFDOIUFLKJD!!!111one

Okay you sat someone down to get out of the inning.
But uhm. You are now Johanna.

Top of the 3rd
Michelle. You are not Nick Punto. Don't try to turn a single into a double. *smack*
Wham bam NO thank you ma'am.

Bottom of the 3rd
Uh.
Where did the sudden LOUD thunder come from?
It's supposed to rain out?
Oh..it's raining out.
*scampers off to kare11.com*
I sure am happy I don't live in gaylord. You'd be getting pounded.
BY RAIN.

Oh..btw..another sit down bitch inning minus the base hit.


top of the 4th
Wait..is it raining at the game too?
Or am I like..just wishing for wet hot baseball men?
AHHH it was raining.
Game Delay.
Is it bad that I want to see them splashing in puddles and dancing in the rain?
No it isn't bad.
It's natural.
So...so natural.
I'll be back.

5th inning.
game over.
rain out.
lost.
suprise.

The Johan Santana Show

I'm going.
Are you?

I will either have my
a: Punto shirt on
b: My 1987 world series championship shirt
c: Nothing.

But c won't happen since I won't be drinking.
Aw shucks.
I'm tempted to make a circle me bert sign but I can't think of anything eye catching.
Shocking huh?

I think I might do a "rhombus me bert" sign.