I know, this is a baseball blog.

But this is just too damn good NOT to post.




Oh, Mike Huckabee.

100th post.

And of course, who is it about?
Johan,........Santana.

I guess we are trading him to the mets for 4 "young prospects"
These are my thoughts: what the...FUCK!

Yep.
Thats about it.

On the upside Led Zeppelin is going on tour.

I guess we don't need a dh.
Hmmmm.
Kubel and Monroe.
Right.

I'm sure going to miss watching hockey, because ya know...they like to win.

Oh, Billy Smith.

We all kinda know Santana will be traded, thats a give in.
I'm done attempting to think we'll sign him.
I give up.

So how about you (YES you Mr.Smith) be a sweetheart and sign Morneau AND Cuddyer to a long term deal?
Hmmm sound good? huh? yeah?

"No matter what happens, I'm going to be in a Twins uniform for the next three years unless I get traded," Morneau wrote. "But some moves they make or do not make may have some influence on a long-term deal into my first years of free agency."

Is it me or what he said is giving you all sorts of kind of deja vu?
Ala Hunter, Santana, and Nathan?
The whole "moves they make or do not make may have influence on what I do" kinda thing?
Can't someone take a damn hint?
Guess not.
By the time the new stadium opens all we'll have left is Mauer.

Oh...Roger Clemens.

OBVIOUSLY isn't real, but...it will make you laugh and add 2 years to your life. (really.)

Oh yeah...Roger.
You are very whiny.

Oh and

Swisher to the Sox?
Hell yeah, another reason to hate the bitch sox.

And here are your 2008 twins!

Season in Preview
A lot can change by Opening Day, but as 2007 becomes 2008, this is who is projected to take the field for the Twins:
CF Jason Pridie
2B Brendan Harris
C Joe Mauer
RF Michael Cuddyer
1B Justin Morneau
LF Delmon Young
DH Jason Kubel/Craig Monroe
3B Mike Lamb
SS Adam Everett
SP Johan Santana
SP Scott Baker
SP Boof Bonser
SP Kevin Slowey
SP Glen Perkins
CL Joe Nathan


*golf clap*
.....I miss Lew.


And this my friends is why I didn't pay for season tickets.
Yes I will be going, but it isn't worth the 1,000 + dollars I'd spend.
Consider me a home run porch/cheap seats dweller.

Random: I am going to be yelling out "this is Sparta" at games.
Because the men who were 300 strong and the men of the 40 man roster for 08 have alot in common:

1.They have spirit.
2.They stand for what they believe in, like teaching grown men how to lay down a routine bunt.
Or lay down a good ol' fashioned ass kicking. Same thing right? No?
3.They fight no matter what, and will probably lose.
4.They look good in loin cloths.
5.Xerxes is kinda like Pohlad. Just kinda though, minus a few piercings.
6.They both look fashionable in their outfits.
7.They sure as HELL know how to hustle.
8.They use their sticks well.
9.When elephants fall from cliffs, they land hard....okay I got nothing. That part is rad.
10.There is no crying in baseball. And there shouldn't be no crying during battles, but I guess if your sons head gets chopped off I guess I'll let it slide, just this one time.


Spring training needs to start asap.

Craig Monroe

I bet you are just as confused as I am.
Do you even have a position to play?

Knowing the twins you'll end up at 3rd.

Is it just me or does anyone else RLY want Jacoby Ellsbury.

Can't we get Adrian Peterson to play CF?

(id love if someone put a twins hat on his head and see how AWESOME IT WOULD LOOK..photoshop your tails off kids!)


Now for something completely different:

The highly anticipated (by some) Mitchell Report is scheduled to be released this Thursday.
Heres the run down if you have NO clue what I'm talking about.....
He has a list of guys who hit the juice.
The "this stuff makes me angry quick" stuff..
Ya know...ROIDS.
And no not the kind Joe Mauer has.
I'm talking bout HGH...the human growth hormone.
Steroids.

It has up to 80 players names past and present.
Do you think if they publicly release this list, it can ruin the whole aspect and the love of the game that is baseball?
I know a lot of people want to know, but at the same time if you saw a "cal ripken jr" on there or a "ken griffey jr" I'd get quite sad.

News Break: Snoop Dogg plays a keytar in his new music video. AWE-SOME-NESS.


coming up at 10:00: Papelbon: hip white boy, a-d-d ridden oversized 4th grader,Ortiz's conscience or lord of the dance?

skol vikings

Okay.
You guys won 4 in a row.
Breaking records left and right like its no biggie.
Adrian Peterson being Adrian Peterson.
A MN team doing good, but we all know when it gets super serious you'll choke.
Thats the MN sports way of life, haha.


And Bob Costas. Please don't be the broadcaster for the olympics on 08 again....
I don't like you. At all.

Tiki Barber.
Hugs.

steinbrenner: kinda sucks at pog

I sit here shaking in my boots.(I would if I had any on, that is) eating a piece of birthday pumpkin pie...yes yes I know my b day is tomorrow *COUGH* listening to the beatles non-stop awaiting the news if Billy Smith decided to take the Yankees deal.

...man this pie is good.
Oh can I just say how immature this whole trading "business" thing is?
It just reminds me of when I used to play pogs......


Steinbrenner: "I'll give you my penguin and transformers pogs for your Venezuelan flag SLAMMER!"

Smith:"oh no..I like my slammer. I know I should keep it but maybe if you toss in the free willy pog..."

Steinbrenner:"OH that is shenanigans! I JUST GOT IT and its working out well for me, thank you."
Smith:"well the only slammer you had retired because it was all cracked and the fun metallic design was rubbed off..you should of thrown it away and not play it until it decided to leave on its own" (hint: I wonder which Yankee I'm talking about here..if you cant follow along, I'm sorry it just won't be funny)

*red headed step child walks up holding pog cases FULL of slammers and pogs, every child in the 90s would be jealous. If they cared*HEY YOU GUYS WANNA GIVE ME THINGS!?!?! I Know I already have everything and I truly don't need your help..but you billy smith..YOU have a slammer I WANT..give me your Venezuelan flag slammer! I'll give you some new pogs I got which might help you, but who knows..."

Steinbrenner: UGH...BE QUIET I DON'T LIKE YOU..*huffs* well my deal is better if you dont decide by lunch period WE ARE SO OVER. *stomps off*


To be continued......
Will Little Stieny get what he wants?
Or will the Red Headed step child step in and punch Steiny in the grill?
Or will Little Billy Smith pack up his pogs realizing he has the ultimate pogslammer.


up next:
Wheres waldo-santana?

Looks like joe joe knows.

Anger has gotten the best of me

Bill Smith,

At first I thought you were insane. Some of my posts weren't thought through first. I was full of angst.I still think your a little off your rocker though...sorry.
We all were shocked since we have been so used to Terry Ryan. Aka Mr.We-dont-need-to-trade-because-our-farm-system-is-awesome.

I like your sass.
You make the off season interesting again.
But please, don't go overboard.

Don't go all "mn timberwolves" on us please.

Thanks much,
Karlee

Boyz II Men makes Karlee sad

In the words of one of the best "boy bands" of the 90's.
"it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterdayyy-eeee"


Jason Alan Bartlett,

I know I called you Butterfinger Bartlett, but that doesn't mean I didn't like you.
I know you'll have a good time at Tropicana Field. Wanna know why I know? Remember this commercial?





Yes..I know you do. WELL since you love swimming with underwater creatures. Tropicana Field SURE has a surprise for you Barty!


(Nick Punto not included, sold separately)

YES, Tropicana Field has Stingray tank where you can *gasp* touch them.
And it's right behind the right center field wall.
And if you hit a homerun into the tank you get to donate money to your favorite charity!

I would love to see some crazy fan try to jump into the tank to get the home run ball. Is that bad? Barty you better not do that. Please don't pull a Irwin, got it?
Play nice.

I'll miss you dearly, take care of lil' Garza for us. And I know I know..we all wanted Rincon to join you too.

Crushed,

Karlee

PS: For momma call it the Thunderdome, and not Tropicana Field.
It just sounds WAY more bad-ass. Say it outloud. Yeah. Awesome.