Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Guess what.

My heart is officially broken into 450945094844048430430943 1/2 pieces.

Nick Punto.
You break my heart.
You were doing SO good today.
And..uh..that "bunt" UHM.
Just...oh wow. Keep it in the strike zone not lift your bat up and act like u were trying to run to first when YOU KNOW it's a sac situation. You Don't do that. You lay the bunt down and jog nicely to first knowing you did your DAMN JOB. *breathes out*
You got ahead of yourself. Go back to the basics. Plz.

That's what we need to do.
And Joe Mauer, NEVER steal 3rd ever again.

And can someone PLEASE TELL ME why they put in Gurrier and not Nathan?
Is Gardy smoking rocks during the 7th inning stretch?

He needs to start taking the tranquilizers they give Bert after his "f bomb" situation. (In my mind I think that's how they settle him down.lulz)
Then maybe he can realize he should of put in Nathan. And put himself in to bunt for Punto.
And Anthony LaPanta needs to stop taking caffeine.
And Coomer HAS to stop smiling and giggling about everything.

I'm sorry I can't handle another loss.
I truly can't.
Especially how this one ended.
I was like "OMGZ it's tied we can just get these three peeps out we have a chance!!111one"

Then BOOM.
And my heart exploded.
And it didn't help that it sounded like world war 3 outside of my house from all the damn cloud to ground lightning, hail, and bad-ass tree bending winds.

I was already tweaking out seeing a hurricane outside.
Then they had to pull that "OH HAI LULZ by the way I'm going to hit a walk off home run becuz I think it would be SO FUNNY, my heart is warm right now thinking of all the souls/hearts/minds I've just broke...lollercoaster"

Bert:hmmm my "California math" says we've been sucking for..*looks around* Dick do you have a calendar?
Dick: No Bert, but I just got a new map of Guatemala.
Bert:well..I don't care..but we've been sucking for too long.
Dick:Yes Bert.
Bert:so...we suck, dick? *pause,muffled laughter*
Dick: Punto up to bat...
Bert:ohhh *Beep*
Dick:glad we bought that hand held beep machine for you.
Bert:yeah it's been working out very well. Since the last incident and all..
Dick:It says it was made in Malaysia..*hears him flip pages* that's right next to Indonesia and Thailand Bert!
Bert:*the beep machine goes off for a good 30 seconds* You know where My fist is? *Beep* IN YOUR FACE.*beep* YOU ARE HERE BY CIRCLED*beep* YOU ANNOYING LITTLE..*beep*


Katie said...

Yeah, this one was bad.

I was driving home from work, and Casey was kind enough to talk me through the ninth on the phone.

"um...no offense to Matt Guerrier, but why aren't they putting in Nathan?"

And then...

"Oh shit."

Me: "WHAT?!"

"We just lost."

Much swearing and gnashing of teeth.

Karleeee said...

but i did put a fun bert and dick thing up..(of course, its fake but it did put a smile to my face while reading it)

I really don't know what is going to happen if we lose tomorrow.
Esp in the fashion we did tonight.

That was just like a huge SMACK in the face.

Katie said...

"So...we suck, Dick?"

ha! brilliant. Sometimes, we ALL have Dick on our shirt. Metaphorically speaking.

Karleeee said...

Hahahaha yes.


Bert is an amazing man.
When I saw that while watching the pre game. I couldn't stop laughing until it came back on.

And he has just that smile of "I'm amazing..I can work around the censors..I am Bert Blyleven. I rule"

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